User talk:Jaironerao/The 1949 Sun Bowl Controversy

Sun Bowl Segregation History
In the intro, there is a sentence that reads, "The Sun Bowl was believed to be a lower level bowl game as compared to the Cotton or Sugar Bowl in large part that the payout per team barely covered team expenses at the time." I'm not sure how this pertains to the section. It's definitely an important reason aside from the racial issue as to why Lafayette College would decide not to go to the game, but it doesn't add to the specific segregation history. It could potentially be used elsewhere. 15:27, 5 March 2014 (UTC)Firestol (talk)

In this section we talk about Lafayette playing the Texas College of Mines and in the Desegregation of the Sun Bowl section it says Lafayette plays the University of Texas at El Paso. I think that needs to be cleared up.Diffends (talk) 17:30, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

Just looked this up - University of Texas at El Paso was founded as the Texas School of Mines and Metallurgy in 1914; it became Texas Western College in 1949; it became the University of Texas at El Paso in 1967. We should think of a way to state this so the reader won't get confused, or just use one name the whole time.Diffends (talk) 17:57, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

I just cut out a lot of information in this section that seemed to stray away from the focus of our article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 19:14, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

Segregation of the Sun Bowl
This section is supposed to be the De-segregation of the Sun Bowl, but someone changed the title. The article needs to be re-written to contain actual information about the desegregation.

The section entitled Segregation of the Sun Bowl is mostly about the events that occurred at Lafayette College (the student protest, the march to Easton, etc.) This information is given in more detail in another section of the page, and I don't thin it needs to appear twice. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 22:34, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

There is a line in this section that reads, "The Sun Bowl was officially desegregated in 1952 most likely due to the heroic and supportive actions of the Lafayette students defending their teammate, David Showell." Using the word heroic makes it have a biased tone. From the perspective of UTEP, it was an embarrassment, saying that the entire "scandal" could be attributed to misinformation. Neutral voice is needed to find middle ground. Firestol (talk) 15:12, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

I'm also concerned about the relevance of this section. It seems to drift away from the main idea. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 15:26, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

There is more information on the actual desegregation of the game from the Special Collections section that i can to this section. The initial title is supposed to be about the Desegregation rather than segregation of the game so after I add the new, more detailed information, feel free to edit it to make it sound the best way possible — Preceding unsigned comment added by TimboVang (talk • contribs) 15:29, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

We may want to consider revising the order in which each section is presented. Maybe put desegregation towards the end of the page since it happened after the actual events that are talked about in the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Saporitm (talk • contribs) 15:33, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

More information?
There seems to be information missing about this story, like some background information about the team's season. Maybe we should all this somewhere. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 17:09, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Song
I think the information about the song should be in a different section, and it should probably be at the very end of the page because it isn't really that important.

I don't think we need to include the song lyrics. We also need to cite the song. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 18:43, 6 March 2014 (UTC)

Overlapping information
For the events at Lafayette section: we have a couple sections with overlapping information so we'll need to fix that. I also gave each section a title, but feel free to change it. Professor told my group to start with the student protest, so I didn't include any information about the original announcement of the rejection; did another group cover this or should my group include it? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 19:56, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Quotations
The Wikipedia page about writing an article stated that people should try not to use quotations. So we should only quote things that are absolutely necassary like direct quotations from an individual. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 15:03, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

Stick with one name
I think that we should either stick with "Dave" or "David" when naming Showell because it is inconsistent throughout the article.Lafayette16 (talk) 15:09, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

Or should we stick with just his last name Showell? — Preceding unsigned comment added by Solowaym1 (talk • contribs) 15:17, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

I think it is standard to call him David Showell the first time and then refer to him by last name. --TL — Preceding unsigned comment added by 139.147.41.24 (talk) 16:40, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

Order
Make sure the order of events flows cohesively. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ajcast (talk • contribs) 15:31, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

intro paragraph
The language of the introductory paragraph reads a little bit more like the introduction to an essay than it does an introduction to a Wikipedia article. Right now it reads a little suspenseful and a bit more like a story/narrative, which hurts the neutral tone. You want as much information as possible in the first few paragraphs written in a manner as straightforward as possible. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 139.147.41.24 (talk) 16:42, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

List of Things to Do
--Citations need to be much more extensive — Preceding unsigned comment added by 139.147.40.157 (talk) 15:21, 5 March 2014 (UTC)

Song Citing Procedure?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Template:Cite_AV_media15:47, 5 March 2014 (UTC)Lafayette16 (talk)

Nice Article
Hi all,

I came across your work on this article and it is looking very good. You may have already been planning this, but because the controversy occurred in 1949, there should be some public domain images you could include. When you are ready to move this to article space, it would make a nice Did you know article. Also, it looks like you may be able to nominate it as a good article. If I can be of help with any of these suggestions, just let me know. Good work! I am One of Many (talk) 19:47, 5 March 2014 (UTC)

1948 Lafayette Football Season Background
This section seems to not have a neutral voice. Diffends (talk) 18:03, 6 March 2014 (UTC)