User talk:Jalanielawrence/sandbox

Peer Review- Katelyn White

1) Neutrality- The information added is neutral because it states clear facts without bias. We see while reading her potential edits that all of the information contained is cited thoroughly and contains a good amount of content. 2) Sufficient Change- Jalanie's edits contain a decent amount of added information. The changes will be significant and provide the page with more information into Mike Webbster's Death involving CTE. 3)Citations- The edits contain quite a bit of new information with proper citations. There are about 5-6 new citations she is adding to the article which appear to be useful and strong resources. 4)Language, Tone, and Clarity- The edits appear to be very clear. The language is strong and powerful while remaining unbias, and the tone seems to be informative, as if she wants to inform the audience. 5) Assignment Instructions- There are three edits, which are all factual and contain a decent amount of information.

Peer Review- Aaliyah Grasty
1) Neutrality- neutral, All in formation Cited, also contains a great amount of information that can be added. 2) Sufficient- contains alot of new information that was added. alot of content to back up her information with citations 3) Citations- proper citations, looking at the citations seem very useful. 4) Language, tone, and clarity- work very clear and welll written to understand what she wnats to add and change, very informative. 5) Assignment- three factual/ informative edits

Reply
I feel like I am in a good spot for my editing. I think the only thing I have to do next is revise a couple sentences. I have more than enough sources and three distinct edits. Hopefully, people view view my edits to the page as beneficial, as the page was missing a lot of information. I wanted to add more information about Webster's football career, as the page was flagged for not having enough information. However, I also wanted to connect his story more to the impact of the discovery of CTE, as he was one of the first American football players to be diagnosed with CTE. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Jalanielawrence (talk • contribs) 02:40, 7 May 2018 (UTC)