User talk:Jamieventure/Sandbox

Minor revisions necessary. “Mattioli discusses her hope for…” - Make sure to consistently use proper pronouns. Your article is well written and you have done a good job utilizing your sources for pertinent information. Consider revising your format to include larger chunks of text instead of having each point be its own sentence. This will make the article a bit easier to read. Find places where certain information could be put together to create a better flow for the reader. As well, ensure to use proper pronouns consistently throughout the article, I have pointed out above on instance where you refer to Mattioli with “she”. Otherwise, good work!

Batcow39 (talk) 16:46, 21 February 2018 (UTC)