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Sarie Emily Anne Bratane

Sarie Emily Anne Bratane was a renowned chemist from Maplewood New Jersey. She is most well known for her organization of the first cult at Columbia High School, from which she graduated from in 1968 along with friend and famous alumni Amy Freedman. The cult was formed for the discusion of the growth and cultivation of Marijuana during the Hippie drug culture of the 60's.

Bratane and Freedman Mrs Bratane and Ms Freedman were well known friends for their popular creation of the fad of writing messages on post-its and placing them under the desk for students in the next period. When this became known as a distraction to teachers in the school, post-its were banned and Bratane and Freedman organized a sit-in on the front lawn in protest of the removal of their constitutional rights. The faculty attempted to stop protest and force kids to go back to their classes, but this resulted in a sing off to which the teachers lost. Both sides sang mash-up of songs from The Sound of Music after the popularity of the motion picture in 1965. Soon after post it notes were reestableished as a staple of the Bratane cukture she lived her days ouy happly although never finding the cure to polio. Just after her 60th birthday she checked her self into a mental institution in which she died 2 years after, probally because of all the hot yoga and carpool tunnel in her arms from writing to much on her post its.

Cure for Polio Soon after her graduation she applied her skills for chemistry to her pursuit for the cure for polio, away from her hobby of crafting LSD and selling it to hippies in the D-wing bathroom. Read more about the construction of the D-Wing in Columbia Here. Her pursuit for the cure of Polio came after the death of her dear friend Amy Freedman, whose plaque was dedicated by Bratane to the school and now sits on the front lawn in the exact spot they were for their sit-in. Unfortunately, Bratane never cured polio because she was diagnosed clinically insane by her professor after realizing that her papers weren't gibberish due to her speech implement, but because of shingles. Even after checked into a mental institute, she continued her affair with said professor, despite his marriage and 3 adopted children. Her professor was later arrested not for the scandal, but for impersonating a doctor and for supplying Britane with pot brownies while in a mental institution. There is still debate today as to whether or not the brownies were purposely laced with other unknown substances that could have lead to her overdose during hot yoga, just regular yoga, she though it was hot because she was on unknown drugs. The Professor left the country after being released from jail finding out that Bratane had been dead all these years. It is still unclear if he purposefully murder her because she found out he had a wife or for trying to steal one of his kids in the nighttime after escaping her room. He failed to tell police about this attempted kidnapping because Bratane would tell his wife about the afair with a person 40 years younger. His current location is still unknown but he is believed to be impersonating a fat Elvis in Vegas. This suspicion comes from a couple that reported his show up to a wedding ceremony impersonating Cher and police believe he can be traced back to plastic surgery under the name Kanye Bratane.