User talk:Jasminbarrows11/sandbox

Peer Review
1. For your first change, I would say drinking age to 18 is 77%. The way you're writing it it does not make complete sense. 2. Who is Richard Marron???? you added the quote which I like but you just put a random man in this article. explain who he is and why what he says is important. 3. Your citations are good and clear. 4. After the bolded text that you want to add to the article, you should write something explaining why what you're writing is important. you're just adding statistics in the article without have any background on why they are relevant. Ocris1 (talk) 18:25, 30 April 2018 (UTC) 1. Your additions appear to be neutral and unbiased. 2. Your additions are adding a lot of facts through statistics which is great. These additions will provide a lot of good information. 3. Each addition does have proper citations. 4. Your clarity does need a little work on. Try to make your additions flow with the information that is already on the page. To do this maybe reword or restructure your sentences, also introduce who Richard Marron is. While you may know of him your readers may not. 5. Overall your additions are good and will provide a lot of great information to the article. Slesl1 (talk) 18:32, 30 April 2018 (UTC)

When editing the article I will make sure to use correct grammar and spelling so that what I am adding is clear to all readers. Also, I will make sure to show the importance of all the information I am adding, I will make the relevance clear to the readers. Each idea and citation I have added to the article has a certain amount of importance, and has a reason for being added to the article. From what I can understand from my peer reviews the reason certain ideas were added to the article is not very clear or understandable, so when editing the article again I will make sure that every idea and citation has importance to the article, that is seen clearly. I will also make sure that me sentences flow smoothly with each other and the citations I have applied. As said above, there are some sections in the article where sentences do not belong together, and that needs to be changed so that the article is easy to read and understand by everyone.