User talk:Jawner22/sandbox

Peer Review - Anne denOtter
-Your first section does a really good job of stating Buddhisms opinion on euthanasia. I think this would make a really good lead section, especially considering the current lead section.

-I like the order in which you present your facts in the Vinaya section. I like that you added the quote but it is a little confusing, I think it would help to add a sentence or two presenting the context and a brief explanation.

-Your section on death is also very well written and logical. I think it would be helpful to add one sentence at the end tying it back to euthanasia.

-The section on compassion is definitely a good addition but it looks a lot shorter than your other sections. To keep the sections consistent, maybe you could merge it with another one or try to find some more information on it. Maybe an example would be helpful.

-I like that you have section for alternatives to euthanasia. Did you find any others? That would be a good section to potentially expand on if there are other options.

-I am intrigued by the original pages section on Buddhist discourses and I think you should definitely try to incorporate that into your draft. Maybe you could have a section on suicide with some other examples.

-I also think it would be interesting to present the other side of the Buddhist opinion. Has any Buddhist ever used euthanasia? Maybe you could add a section about rare instances where it was used.

-Try finding some more sources too. The more sources and the more times you cite what you are saying, the better. This way there wont be any confusion as to where you got your information from. You should definitely check out the library if you haven't already, if you can find a Buddhism or euthanasia section there will probably be a bunch of helpful books.

-Looks great so far!AnneD17 (talk) 23:49, 18 March 2018 (UTC)

Week 7 - Peer Review (Esther Dvorkin)
Fantastic so far! Your work is extremely informative and well written, and I love that you went in and linked many articles into your article.

- For the Buddhism and Euthanasia section, I believe the information is all relevant however, citations are missing. I think that this would add credibility behind the statements you make. I love how you linked many links into your article - this is great for future readers who do not know much about the topic as they can click around and learn more background information to better understand your article. Within the section, I feel as though images/graphics can be added in order to also help future readers gain a visual understanding of the information presented.

- Within the section for Vinaya, I believe the flow would benefit from a brief introduction on the Vinaya Tripitaka. It may help to mention that it is a text, and potentially include a few facts on its origins, implications, etc. If possible, you may be able to quote certain sections of the text to support any statements made on Buddhist views on euthanasia, or situations similar to euthanasia as you mentioned there are no specific references made.

- When mentioning situations where Buddhist monks practiced medicine and were put in situations where they had to chose whether to go through assisted suicide, (if possible) the content may benefit from citations and accounts of such situations. If there is a large number of cases in which this issue was present currently, you may even be able to add a section of legal battles/case studies to further support the views of current Buddhists on euthanasia. From here you could discuss how certain issues brought up are in line with religious views and why such views either prevented or provoked euthanasia.

- Within the death section, I think all the content is extremely relevant, however, is missing citations. This section may benefit from adding citations in from religious texts. If possible, you could find text which discusses the situation mentioned where death was unclear. You could also add case studies and current debates which deal with issues where buddhists must draw the line between an individual being considered living vs. dead.

- For both sections on Death and Vegetative State, I feel as though the information is relevant, however it may benefit the article to place both into one larger section which discusses when Buddhists consider an individual to have passed away. You can include other instances where there might be confusion (i.e.: brain death vs. cardiac arrest, comatose patients, psychiatric illnesses which impair proper mental functioning, etc.). Aside from this, within the section of Vegetative State you bring up the idea of compassion, however, it is not discussed until the section below it. I would suggest either introducing the idea briefly prior to mentioning it, or reorganizing the section to have compassion come before Vegetative State in order to avoid confusion.

- As for Compassion and Karma, you may be able to merge both into one larger section as well on the views Buddhists have towards death. You can discuss ideas (compassion, karma, etc.) during time of death Buddhists believe in which may prevent or provoke euthanasia.

- I feel as though all of your information is relevant, however citations are necessary (someone mentioned as much as after every sentence)! You may have added them in elsewhere, and I might have just not found them. Overall, I saw on Katherine’s article that Professor Garcia mentioned the ideas of adding case studies, and I think that it may be relevant towards your article as well if you can find enough information. It could give you more content to add without having to be biased yourself and argue for whether euthanasia in certain situations is right/wrong. It would also benefit readers to have access to current or past debates. All this information could further support the Buddhist beliefs - as the case studies most likely use religious arguments during their debates. Aside from this, maybe add a brief background on topics (i.e.: Tripitaka, six realms of life in Buddhist cosmology, etc.) that are not familiar to many readers - such as where the ideas originated, definitions, etc. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Estherdvorkin (talk • contribs) 23:56, 18 March 2018 (UTC)