User talk:JayChafe/sandbox

Summary
The article presents information on the role of snakes in Greek mythology. The author explains the symbolism surrounding snakes in relation to gods and goddesses, while also explaining the positive and negative associations with snakes. The final section describes the issues presented by feminist scholars.

Major points
The article overall presents information that is an interesting addition to Wikipedia. The separation of sections is helpful however the feminist commentary section feels out of place. The attempt at starting with a clear description of the article is more of a summary than an introduction. Perhaps it would be useful to explain why this information is important in this introductory section. The overall writing prose is a little unclear in many sections which could benefit from a more direct sentence structure even if the topics are slightly repetitive. The author could reduce using words like "also" and "again" and instead present the information in each section as related but stand alone sections. The writing slightly feels as if it is caught in between an essay and an encyclopedia article. Within the article, the author could create links to other Wikipedia articles. Words and phrases such as "Greek Mythology," metamorphosis, Medusa, Athena, Apollo, Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Christian, Neptune, Gordon sisters, Perseus, and Iliad can be linked out by surrounding them with double brackets.

Minor points
The author has already indicated that citations will be added but another look at the tense of each section would be beneficial as well. WikiHollis (talk) 01:19, 11 November 2014 (UTC)

Summary
This article covers snake lore in Greek mythology, cataloging different gods and goddesses' relationships to snakes, negative and positive aspects attributed to snakes in Greek mythology, and feminist commentary on the subject.

Major Points
The article is well organized and well formatted for Wikipedia. I think the various section headings benefit the article and make navigation of topics easy for the reader. I would be careful that these categories don't need to be read as a complete article from start to finish but that they could stand alone if a reader just wanted to read one subsection. Being ignorant in Greek mythology, I'm curious if there is any variance in the many ages or iterations of these stories. Is there a commonly accepted mythological narrative or does it need to be explicitly clarified somewhere where these snake statements are being pulled from? Also, perhaps the snake subsections of each god / goddess could be filled into the preexisting main articles for each of them? And of course this is a first draft but sources are needed for many other points in the article. Linkages could help and imagery as well, although this is an article in which I don't think imagery is absolutely essential.

Minor Points
Hard to find anything of note. I wonder about the phrase "....in Greek mythology is quite apparent..." in the first sentence of the last paragraph. Quite apparent to the author may be a personal perspective that Wikipedia isn't intended for. Is there a source to back this up? Also there should be a References section header.