User talk:Jbergeron11/sandbox

Brianna's peer review
Lead - The lead is strong, and give the reader a broad idea about who they are going to be learning about, and what they are notable for without giving the same information they will then read.

Biography - Not filled in quite yet - but the very last sentence from the lead (about where Greene was born) might fit better in the bio!

Legacy - This section has lots of good information! It may be helpful to structure this section in more of a chronological way. The last sentence about Green being taught by Clerc feels important to his journey. Where it is currently, it feels almost like an afterthought. Because it happened in his younger years, starting the education section with that, and then going on to discuss his accomplishments later in life may help the reader keep track of where in Green's life journey these accomplishments occurred.

Overall, this is a great start to the page! Your voice is neutral, the overall structure of the page works really well with the information you want to convey, and you have some solid sources so far, though I will say that every wiki page can always benefit from more. Great job! Briannariv (talk) 18:20, 24 March 2019 (UTC)

Mercy's Peer Review
You have a great lead section talking about the main points of Samuel Greene.

I think the first 2 sentences in the "Education" section might seem more fitting as part of the "Biography" section which you may also name "Early Life". I think the "Legacy" section might be more fitting after the "Death" section as well. I would love to see more about how Greene was as a teacher and his contributions surrounding things he was involved in during his life such as the OAD. Also, you can think about including a section on these various things he was involved in, if you can find enough information on them. For example, different sections on his contributions in the OAD, and as a teacher for the Sir James Whitney School of the Deaf. It may also be interesting to add a bit of more information, given that you can find this information, on his family life, his 4 kids and wife.

Also, I found that there is a street in Belleville named Greene Street in his honor. That may be another interesting thing to add to your "Legacy" section. I also found that he "devised a highly successful method of instruction that used both sign language and written text". His method of instruction could be an interesting thing to read about!

Also, I think that it would be better to refer to him as Greene, instead of Samuel, as that is more professional.

Overall, you keep a very neutral and unbiased tone throughout the article and your sources seem to have a lot of great information in them. It seems quite difficult to find scholarly articles on Samuel Greene and it shows that you put a lot of thought and work into this draft. I look forward to seeing your Wikipedia page grow! Mercyvalladares (talk) 21:10, 24 March 2019 (UTC)

Aryanna's Peer review
Great additions! some things that stood out to me, 1) maybe in the beginning try to make it more obvious he was deaf? I didn't really get that until i continued reading 2) "with other four graduates" to "with four other graduates or with the other four graduates". 3) Maybe find something more to include in the legacy section, did he start any program or have anything named after him? that's all I saw, good job! — Preceding unsigned comment added by 168.122.208.150 (talk) 03:01, 27 March 2019 (UTC)