User talk:Jbv15/sandbox

Anthony Perrino: Peer Edit
Censorship:

According to the American Library association, “A challenge is an attempt to remove or restrict materials, based upon the objections of a person or group. A banning is the removal of those materials. Challenges do not simply involve a person expressing a point of view; rather, they are an attempt to remove material from the curriculum or library, thereby restricting the access of others.” (ALA) After its publication in 1972, Bless Me, Ultima emerged as one of the “top ten most frequently challenged books” in the years 2013 and 2008.” (ALA) Specific reasons for the challenges in 2013 were "occult/Satanism, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit" and similarly in 2008 of "occult/satanism, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit, violence". (ALA)

Round Rock Independent School District (Texas)

In 1996 (INSERTED COMMA), after appearing on advanced placement and local high school reading lists in Round Rock Independent school district, the novel came to parents attention, which according to Foerstel led to “seven hours of boisterous debate over a proposal to remove a dozen books”, one of which was Bless Me, Ultima. Some of the worries of the parents included excessive violence. (Foerstel) However a local paper, The Austin American Statesman, claims “ Refusing to allow credit for those celebrated literary works would have been an unnecessary intrusion by the school board.” After multiple hearing and proposals, the board came to a 4-2 vote against the banning of the book. (Book Ban Laid to Rest)

Newman-Crows Landing Unified School District (California)

After a parent filed a complaint regarding the novel, Bless Me, Ultima, the text was withdrawn from the classroom, which 200 students were expected to read over the course of the year. The parent who made the original complaint argued that the text used explicit wording and anti-Catholic views “that undermine the conservative family values in our homes” (Hatfield 1) However, one attendee of the special meeting noted in favor of the book that "I can't think of a book, I can't think of a newspaper article that's not offensive to some people." (Hatfield 1) Ultimately, the board trustees voted 4-1 to remove Bless ME, Ultima from curriculum while the novel will continue to remain in the library. (Hatfield 2)

Plot Summary:

The novel opens as the protagonist, Antonio, approaches the age of seven when his family decides to house Ultima, an elderly curandera (MAKE SURE TO ADD HYPERLINK HERE). Known as “La Grande” in the Márez household, is the embodiment of the wisdom of her ancestors and carries within her the powers to heal, to confront evil, to use the power of nature and to understand the relationship between the seen and unseen. Tony's parents both hold conflicting views about Tony's destiny and battle over his future path. While Gabriel represents the roaming life of a vaquero and hopes for Tony to follow this path of life, Maria represents the settled life of hard-working farmers and aspires for her son to become a priest. As a child, Ultima was Antonio’s midwife and reveals that she is the only one who will knows his future.

Following an immediate bond with Ultima, Antonio learns of the many herbs and barks, which are used in her ceremonies. However, one night Antonio witnesses the death of a man, which makes him question his religion and identity (INSERTED COMMA), and sparks his journey towards manhood.

Antonio begins school in the fall, where he is portrayed as an excelling [students] (CHANGE TO STUDENT), which greatly pleases his mother. One day, when with his friends he is told the myth of the Golden [carpe] (CHANGE TO 'CARP'). Antonio also continues to be an example for the children, who praise his religious savant as they dress him as a priest while preparing for first communion. Antonio’s Uncle Lacos is cursed by Tenorio’s three evil daughters, (INSERT 'AND') Ultima, not even the priest, emerges as the only one who can cure him from death. Antonio’s admiration for Ultima strengthens as he continues to question his identity.

In another traumatic death, Antonio witnesses the murder of Narciso, known as the town drunk, by Tenorio,a malicious saloon-keeper and barber in El Puerto. [As a result, Antonio enters a state of dreams as he becomes ill after the traumatic event.] (REPHRASE, NOT CLEAR)  Tenorio blames Ultima for the death of one of his daughters, claiming she put a curse on her. Tenorio plots his revenge on Ultima during the duration of the novel.

The determined [Tenoro] (CHANGE TO 'TENORIO') emerges in the final scenes as Antonio is chased by him back to the Màrez house, where Tenorio shoots Ultima’s owl. Following the death of the owl, Ultima quickly follows and is accompanied by Antonio at her bedside as she dies.

Comments

Jane, really nice job with your article. I wanted to let you know that I utilized ALL CAPS to identity the small edits that I believe you should consider. Overall, the different cases that you present in the beginning of your draft are very neutral and provide an unbiased reflection of the novel. I would say that you could elaborate more on each case, but then I think you would be just repeating yourself because the information is pretty cut and dry, so don't worry about that. In the Plot Summary section, I was wondering if there are hyperlinks to characters in the page because it becomes hard to follow each character and it seems to make following the plot a little confusing for someone who has not read the novel. I believe if you identify the characters in more detail the plot summary will be more effective and balanced. I am a big fan of your format, and it will really make your page more beneficial for the reader. really nice job with citations overall, and the variety of scholarly information makes the draft very balanced. Good luck with the rest of your edits! --Aper1123 (talk) 15:41, 21 November 2016 (UTC)

Hi Jane!

Awesome job with the censorship cases! I think generally with the cases, maybe start with an opening line about Bless Me Ultima, the first case feels more like you are discussing censorship generally rather than a specific case, which I think could be fixed just by some reordering of information. I think you did a great job presenting the info in an unbiased way which is really awesome, also great job putting in parenthetical citations - that will make it super easy to add footnotes when we formally put these in wikipedia. The plot section is good but it feels a little thin in some places and I think it could be bolstered with a few transitional phrases just connecting certain scenes from the novel to other scenes. Also, in the plot summary section you set the stage very well with the first paragraph by defining the characters in their roles however I think in the following paragraphs some of the characters would benefit from a bit more descriptive language just to clarify to readers who exactly the characters are. All in all these are nit picky things and I think you're additions are really going to strengthen the page!

See email for small grammatical edits :)Victoriashakespeare (talk) 23:05, 21 November 2016 (UTC)