User talk:Jemmiller96/Jemmiller96/sandboxvanguard

Peer review done by Natalie Radrigan
I think this is a very solid start. Just some grammar "San Francisco, California" on the first sentence. Along with just elaborating on your sections. I think a good way to make it more relevant to the class is maybe talking about how they organized. I also think that the "Police Harassment" section would go better right after the lead paragraph because it's a big reason why it's started, then they formed and were able to make a magazine and protest. Since it's very specific I'm not sure what class article that could be used, but maybe news articles could be a big contribution to your article. Overall, good job! Natalieradrigan (talk) 02:36, 27 April 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review Response by Jessie Miller
Thank you for your input! I rearranged the topics so Police Harassment was first, I think it makes more sense that everything stems from that. I went through and also did a grammar sweep. I found it challenging to relate this topic directly to sources we used in class, but I think it relates well to intersectionality as well as prison abolition. Jemmiller96 (talk) 05:42, 30 April 2018 (UTC)