User talk:Jengarland

== Your submission at Articles for creation: Draft:Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc. (April 30) ==  Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. Please read the comments left by the reviewer on your submission. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved. ''' Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia! '''
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®amos likes messages! 15:47, 30 April 2014 (UTC)
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Reference Errors on 20 May
Hello, I'm ReferenceBot. I have automatically detected that an edit performed by you may have introduced errors in referencing. as follows: Please check this page and fix the errors highlighted. If you think this is a false positive, you can [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?action=edit&preload=User:A930913/RBpreload&editintro=User:A930913/RBeditintro&minor=&title=User_talk:A930913&preloadtitle=ReferenceBot%20–%20&section=new report it to my operator]. Thanks, ReferenceBot (talk) 00:26, 21 May 2014 (UTC)
 * On the Draft:Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc. page, [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?diff=609420314 your edit] caused a broken reference name (help) . ([ Fix] | [//en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Help_desk&action=edit&section=new&preload=User:ReferenceBot/helpform&preloadtitle=Referencing%20errors%20on%20%5B%5BSpecial%3ADiff%2F609420314%7CDraft:Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc.%5D%5D Ask for help])

== Your submission at Articles for creation: Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc. (May 22) ==  Your recent article submission to Articles for Creation has been reviewed! Unfortunately, it has not been accepted at this time. Please read the comments left by the reviewer on your submission. You are encouraged to edit the submission to address the issues raised and resubmit when they have been resolved. ''' Thank you for your contributions to Wikipedia! '''
 * If you would like to continue working on the submission, you can find it at Draft:Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc..
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JustBerry (talk) 05:49, 22 May 2014 (UTC)
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advice
I'm one of the admins at Wikipedia who frequently deals with new articles--and with inexperienced reviewers. I've been asked if I can help with the problems about your article, and its reviews. Just as anybody can edit here, almost anybody can review, though we're trying to increase the requirements for that. The first review was in large part correct, the second was a little absurd; I will try to explain it it him.

But the article is not quite acceptable yet, and the reason is that you did not adequately respond to the problems mentioned by the first reviewer. You rearranged the material, but some of it needed to be removed and some rewritten.

1) The information about George does not belong in the article. An organization's website will usually include such information about the founder, but we do not. His background can be said in a single short sentence.

2) The information on bungalows also needs to be shortened. Where the style comes from is in the article on the subject, and the link is sufficient. The details of this particular plan, however, is relevant.

3) The general tone is that of someone trying to advocate for the goals of the association. It needs to be made more objective, which can best be done by writing a little more compactly

4) There are some miscellaneous style problems. a/We do not use Mr. and Ms. anywhere in the article.  b/It is better to use the word "association" than the acronym. Note that it's association, not Association.  c/In the references, with the format you are using, the sequence is Author, title, Name of Journal, date of publication, page numbers if possible, online link if available, date online link was accessed, if possible. Journal names are written   in bold face.  d/ Thesentence of Grocho Mar haas to be wordem ore positively than "it is said"

5) There is some missing material. a/ We need if possible an official reference linking to the registry designation, not just the nomination and the WSJ article. There is sometimes difficulty finding this--if you cannot, someone who specializes in places on the registry will probably find it later  b/ The section about use for Boardwalk Empire could be expended. The necessary information is for which shows it was used -- if possible, for what scenes. I've checked our articles on the show and it isn't included there. There should be a large fan literature on the show.  c/ It would very much help to have some information about typical prices for the bungalows, both originally and more recently. The real estate section of the Times should help, but there are also public records.

6) However, I don;t see the point of the objection that one of refs is just about the place, not the Association; if all of them were such, it would be a problem, but one seems OK. When you have finished, let me know on my user talk page, and I will review it myself.

Your submission at AfC Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc. was accepted
 Beachside Bungalow Preservation Association of Far Rockaway, Inc., which you submitted to Articles for creation, has been created. The article has been assessed as C-Class, which is recorded on the article's talk page. You may like to take a look at the grading scheme to see how you can improve the article. You are more than welcome to continue making quality contributions to Wikipedia. . Thank you for helping improve Wikipedia!  DGG ( talk ) 17:21, 15 July 2014 (UTC)
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