User talk:JennMiddaugh/sandbox

First off, the edits you did for the introductory paragraph are very good. The original one lacked a lot of information. Also, the examples you gave for zoomorphism in Islamic art are very appropriate.

Introduction I think the second sentence of the article "It can be defined in multiple ways" is not really necessary because it's redundant. Second I'm not exactly sure what you mean by the sentence "It means to attribute animal forms or animal characteristics to other animals, or things other than an animal; similar to but broader than anthropomorphism"

Examples The first sentence in this section "Zoomorphism is most commonly depicted in art" feels redundant.Finally, the last two sentences of the second example seem a little out of place. There not saying any incorrect information, but they feel like a conclusion to an article that does not really need it. However, the sentence "The use of zoomorphism served as a decorative element to objects that are typically quite simple in shape and design." might be better in the introductory paragraph

Either way, very good additions to the article and good sources.

Mar Rosario (talk) 22:08, 6 November 2019 (UTC)

Prof. Neumeier comments
Hi Jenn, a few comments: --In the guidelines for this assignment, you are asked to find 4-5 scholarly sources for this article. At the moment, I am only seeing links to the objects from the MET website, which I would not consider a substantive scholarly source. This is all to say that you need to add some further research to this article. I would look at the essays on the Met Museum website (https://www.metmuseum.org/toah/) (all essays have a "Further Reading" tab at the end), the companion to Islamic art (there should be a link in the Canvas modules), and more generally JSTOR. Also, perhaps see what Triana has been using for her article on censers, that might also help: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mar_Rosario/sandbox

--In general, I agree with your peer reviewer's comments and you should try to address them as best you can. I especially agree that you may want to cut the first sentence "Zoomorphism is most commonly depicted in art."--how can you measure something like that, and perhaps it is redundant/not necessary.

And some edits to your text: --"In an art context, zoomorphism is known as art" TO "In the context of art, zoomorphism could describe art"

--"that creates patterns using animal imagery, or animal style." TO "that uses animal as a visual motif, sometimes referred to as "animal style"."

--"the ability to shapeshift into animal form, except with zoomorphism the animal form is applied to a physical object." TO "which is the ability to shapeshift into animal form, except with zoomorphism the animal form is applied to a physical object." (otherwise it is an incomplete sentence)

--"Incense Burner of Amir Saif al-Dunya wa’l-Din ibn Muhammad al-Mawardi." TO "incense burner of Amir Saif al-Dunya wa’l-Din ibn Muhammad al-Mawardi, today located at the Metropolitan Museum in New York." (no need to italicize, and same is true for dagger as well)

— Preceding unsigned comment added by E Neumeier (talk • contribs)