User talk:Jennyfrese/sandbox

Peer Review- Draft: Women of the Fur Trade

Rating: 4/5

This is a good start, the parts that have been completed so far are well written and researched. The only issue I found is that it might be good to organize them into two larger sections, one dealing with native women and one with white women specifically. Or if you're just going to address native women, you can say that at the start of the page, and explain why there weren't many European women. The page is also in need of the appropriate citations. Also be sure to write a summary for the introduction of the page, and add in some information about what time period you're discussing.

Here are some comments on the sections that have been written so far:

Forbidden Union- Might be helpful to add a summary sentence at the beginning of the sentence to explain to the reader what the forbidden union is and what you're going to be talking about in this section. I think it would also make it more user-friendly to break up the paragraph into smaller sections so that it is more readable on the webpage. The content looks good, but some of the sentences need to be re-written since it's a little disjointed.

Alliances with Natives- There seems to be some overlap with the first section; might be good to distinguish whether these were romantic unions or just purely for business. The part about using the native women to help navigate the area I think is interesting and it might be good to add even more about that if you can find it.

A Woman's Role-Had a lot of good information, would be good to add more here. Also again be sure that the different parts aren't too repetitive. Vanacoca (talk) 00:40, 30 March 2013 (UTC)