User talk:JensenByler/sandbox

Nicole's feedback on article draft
Hi, Jensen!

You have some really useful information here, and how you are organizing it so far makes sense/reads smoothly. Some strengths I'm noticing in this draft are:
 * it is clearly organized,
 * the lead section contains the right amount and type of information for that section (and you do a particularly nice job creating that first overview sentence),
 * the history section moves clearly through changes to this space chronologically,
 * your tone is consistently neutral.

Some things to consider as you continue improving this are:
 * there are a number of statements of fact in here that aren't yet directly linked to a source. For example, the statement in the first sentence that this building is formerly known as the Turtle Creek Pumping Station, or that is it considered home to 144 arts organizations, or that Sammons Jazz is the most widely-recognized jazz performance series in North Texas--these are specific, supportable facts that should be tied to a source (ideally one without a promotional bias for statements like the last one about the performance series).
 * some language/phrasing could be more consistent (is it "Sammons Center for the Arts" or "The Sammons Center for the Arts", "Turtle Creek Pumping Station" or "Turtle Creek Pump Station", "the Meadows Hall" or "Meadows Hall"--pay careful attention to how the organization or source documents present these titles and use them consistently)
 * some additional possible expansions (if you have sources to support them): the history highlights for this building could be expanded a little further, and at least a couple of phrases/items could be cross-linked out to other Wikipedia articles (for example, it would be worth seeing if there is a page for American Water Landmarks to link to); organizations like this can have a wide range of funding structures--are you able to find information on their funding? If they are a nonprofit, their tax forms with annual revenue, etc., are required to be publicly available, so you may be able to find this information electronically; what does it mean to be a "member" of this organization?

I hope these notes are helpful, and I look forward to seeing the final version of this! Nicoleccc (talk) 05:33, 13 February 2019 (UTC)

Samantha's Peer Review
I felt that your introduction gave me a pretty good idea of what your topic is and what the Sammons Center for the Arts is all about. After reading the rest of the article I felt like the most important details were included in your introduction. I liked how you organized your ideas and information into clear sections. I think that the order does make sense because the most relevant things were at the top, like history.

One section that I feel could be taken out is the section about rentable spaces in the center. I felt like this portion was not very relevant to most people, as the majority of the people that are reading this article will not be looking to rent a space. I think that the purpose of this article is mainly to give general information that is relevant to all readers.

I felt like you did a good job of staying neutral throughout the article and just giving facts rather than opinions. You were careful about the phrases that you used and the way that you framed your information. For example, instead of explaining why this is the best Performing arts center, you just explained what the center is.

The most important thing that you could improve is some grammar errors. I noticed that there were a few times where you forgot to add a comma or added a comma when one was not necessary. I would suggest copy and pasting your work into a website like grammarly.com. This made me realize that I probably have grammar errors as well in my article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Innes.samantha (talk • contribs) 22:57, 13 February 2019 (UTC)