User talk:JereSierr/sandbox

Jeremy, Overall I think this is all important info to add to the Kiki article, here are just a few notes I jotted down: -be careful about using the passive voice -sometimes it's not quite clear what opinions are critics' and sometimes those opinions read as yours and make this article seem opinionated. I particularly find the section about HIV/AIDS activism to be of value to the article and think with a little cleaning up and a few more sources (so the article doesn't rely too heavily on a few sources), this could be a very valuable addition to the article.

Khabo's review
Hey! I feel like everything looks really good! I feel like your sections are well balanced, cited, and organized. Honestly, I cannot think of anything major to fix. The only thing I can think of is trying to cut down on some of the "filler words/phrases" like "These three all" or "One of the major reasons". Other than that, I feel like it looks great!Khaboninajoy (talk) 23:57, 23 April 2018 (UTC)