User talk:Jessicawhita/sandbox

You have multiple ideas for what you can add/improve and any would be improvements to the article. Select the ones that make the most sense to you. Your peer reviewer offered some great feedback as well so you can incorporate any of those ideas as well. If you are looking for a source in defense of slacktivism this article by Stephanie Vie might interest you. https://firstmonday.org/article/view/4961/3868 DrTraceyJHayes (talk) 22:06, 27 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Thank you for your feedback and the source! I will definitely move that over to my notes. Jessicawhita (talk) 18:37, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

Peer Review for Slacktivism Edits
Hello! Great start on drafting edits for the Slacktivism page. I like how you mention that there are a lot of quotes throughout the article because this is one of the first things I noticed while reading through it. The lengthy quotes could be paraphrased or ideas pulled from the sources, but it is unnecessary to have so many long quotes. This will be a major edit so I'm glad you picked up on it. Here are some notes I took while reading through the article:

Lead section: - “main purpose of boosting the egos of participants…” can this statement be attributed to a reliable source? If not, it seems to be making a skewed, broad claim that projects the authors opinion

Use of term section: - Edit for grammar: third paragraph of “Use of the term” section - don’t start a sentence with a number (“125 Facebook members…”) - Make sure end quotes are placed outside the period at the end of a sentence

Criticism of slacktivism section: - consider taking out the long quote at the beginning, or paraphrasing to get the main points without having such a long quotation - “Micah White has argued…” who is Micah White? Does this person add value for the reader in terms of understanding the topic? If a source is being paraphrased I don’t think it is necessary to name the author, unless it is a well-known person that adds value to the understanding of the topic - the last paragraph of this section has a “citation needed,” consider looking into this information and trying to find a source to add

Defense of slacktivism section: - third paragraph, “Others keep a slightly optimistic outlook…” who? This is a broad claim that references an unnamed group. The sentence itself seems unnecessary and could probably be removed. - this whole section seems to be bent in a way that suggests slacktivism can produce awareness but it’s still weak in producing real action. Does this seem skewed to you?

Types section: - Clicktivism: third paragraph has no cited sources; are these sentences connected to a source? If not, consider finding a source or removing this paragraph, as it could just be the author’s opinion - Charity: this section does not seem to have any sources other than for “examples” of charity slacktivism. The first paragraph makes unsupported claims, consider revising. - same as above for the Charity as a by-product of purchasing products section. This section could be combined with the charity section, rather than a separate section. - Political: unsupported claims - Sympathy: unsupported claims

Other suggestions/comments: - Consider adding something about the Black Lives Matter movement into the examples section? There was a lot of talk about slacktivism around this movement and it could be interesting to show - Many sentences and paragraphs stand alone without any references; it is unclear whether these sentences are linked to surrounding references, or if they are just written from the author’s opinion. It's important that everything is clearly cited by a reputable source, so this seems like a big issue to resolve.

Overall, great start! You have good ideas for where to start on edits for this page, and I think there are some major things that could be improved with your help! Hope this review was helpful. Mcooley509 (talk) 20:29, 23 February 2021 (UTC)
 * Hello! I appreciate all your feedback on my sandbox. I have copied this peer review over to my sandbox and plan to begin incorporating your suggestions into my draft. Thank you. Jessicawhita (talk) 20:04, 25 February 2021 (UTC)