User talk:Jhammer.ucb/sandbox

Peer Review
1. "The hashtag #MarchForOurLives was used 3.6 million times, and over 7.5 thousand tweets were directed at the NRA social media account." - not sure if this information would be better for the Move Me chapter because it's constantly changing? Otherwise, I'd say something like "As of ______ (date)," 2. "Up to date, the Twitter account has 450,000 followers and are a student-run organization with a large social media presence." - same as above, you can't tell what "up to date" means here 3. "The March For Our Lives Twitter has real time, up to date tweets about the movement. It includes tweets about the red flag bill being signed in from other March For Our Lives accounts based in different locations, such as NYC. In addition, the March For Our Lives Twitter account also alerts their followers about the events that are happening, such as meetings at Town Halls or when certain protests are happening. (5) All of their posts follow certain guidelines and relevance, and they also continue to retweet their own tweets too." - not sure if this kind of information is appropriate for Wikipedia, it's not super informative? As in it doesn't necessarily give any additional information about the movement / kind of self-explanatory if people go look at the Twitter 4. "Selena Gomez, in March 2018 shared the march's hashtag #MarchForOurLives with the message: "Protect kids, not guns! and this post had received 2 millions likes." - make sure to specify where the post ends? Also, reconsider grammatical structure of the sentence: "In March 2018, Selena Gomez shared.." 5. "Lady Gaga also documented the march releasing a series of Instagram videos calling for action from politicians to enforce stricter gun laws" - missing comma between march, releasing 6. "The march has drawn support from Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Ariana Grande, and their pledging to join and perform at the march." - grammatical structure should be ", and they have pledged to..." 7. "Besides, students collaborate with BBH L.A to create first Instagram coloring book. BBH L.A. executive creative director Zach Hilder said “We wanted to give them tools to elevate their voices, create a way to unify their message and allow everyone to participate in the march. That’s the inspiration for Color For Our Lives.”" - explain what BBH L.A is? also grammar of quote integration should be "...said, "we wanted..." 8. "#MarchforOurLives hashtag ignited much-needed America’s gun conversation, where people protesting against the epidemic of gun violence and the country needs to change." - definitely sounds persuasive 9. "The March For Our Lives movement leveraged Snapchat to gain momentum, spread the word and draw attention to what students and supporters were doing around the United States in response to recent shootings on school campuses." - needs comma between "spread the word, and draw"

Arieleliu (talk) 04:40, 11 March 2019 (UTC)