User talk:Jhohbein/sandbox

Malik Diaw's Peer Review
Your article does well in exploring the East African drug trade in a capacity that is otherwise somewhat difficult to find in other Wikipedia articles and other scholarly sources, a trend that I noticed in my own research of the West African drug trade. In this vein, your article aptly explores HIV, drug addiction, and the internal social effects that are not always discussed when examining the drug trade in Africa. I think that these areas could be expanded in the article with the historical social effects of the drug trade in East Africa as well as the current operations and measures being performed to change these effects.

In the article I am working on for West Africa, it separates the drug trade into some of the principal countries involved, and addresses them in separate sections. With your sources that function as area studies of different countries (in your case—Kenya and Tanzania), I think a similar structure might lend itself to you article. Additionally, I think expanding the history would improve the overall article and give some insight into how the drug trade has progressed and grown in East Africa. The background could also be revised—you mention how the UNODC is wrong in how it identifies a small flow of drugs in the region, but you could expand on it to show how this conception has been formed and how the structure of drug organizations lends itself to discrete operations. The section headings are in a logical structural order and show a clear progression through the topic—I think they just need a bit more content development.

The section on the various illicit drugs could also be expanded to discuss how specific drugs have effected specific regions, the rise in prevalence of the individual drugs, and the different regions that traffic them through East Africa, such as South America with cocaine. This would help bridge the gap to your section on addiction and give some more insight into how drugs affect the “social and political institutions” of different countries.

You do well in covering the breadth of topics that are involved with the East African drug trade and this could be complemented by going into further depth on the different topics, even if it is just one or two sections. Other than that, your sections are objective in their analysis and are relevant to the article topic. I would just make sure that you use citations throughout the article instead of just the beginning. Overall, well written and interesting topic! Malik diaw (talk) 03:01, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

= Abraham's Peer Review =

'''First of all, I would like to recommend your dedication and courage for starting a whole new Wikipedia article ( I am assuming you are starting a new article on Wikipedia because the one you assigned to yourself does not exist on Wikipedia, I hope I am right) since it will take a lot of work. '''

= Lead Section/Background = I like how you referenced data from the United Nations about drugs in East Africa and then counter it. I, however, believe you can add more sources to give credibility to the background section. Moreover, since you are starting a whole new Wikipedia article, I am hoping that you add more information that summarizes the entire article under the background section.

= Structure = So far the structure of your sentences are good. I will encourage you to either keep it up or work harder to improve it as you add more texts to each of the sections.

= Coverage = I am not able to give concrete feedback since most of the sections have only a sentence or less. I, therefore, trust that you are yet to add more texts to each of the sections.

= Content = In general, the tone of your content are neutral. I, however, encourage you to consider the choice of words/sentences such as " Drugs in East Africa do not come from Africa," since it can raise questions considering that some drugs such as marijuana and others do come from Africa.

=Sources= Though you have 4 sources, only one statement was cited. The cited source also comes from the United Nations, due to Wikipedia standard, I encouraged you to use peer-reviewed articles instead of publications from organizations. I wish you the best of luck citing all your statements.

Well done so far, and I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your editing/additions.

Amartey15 (talk) 06:45, 7 April 2019 (UTC)