User talk:Jim bah

James Walter Bartlett
The man, the bayman, the legend. James Walter Bartlett, or better known as Jim Bartlett is and has been the long lasting mayor of Nors Arm North East Coast West for the past 16 years. This is mostly due to the obscure democratic process by which he is elected. In order to become the mayor, one must undergo a long and arduous triathlon.

The first event is the "Black Horse Chugging Contest". The candidates must drink as much Black Horse (local beer) as possible in 5 minutes. The one who has done so successfully will be allotted 5 points and move on to the next event, as in all events, the winner is judged by the most points collected overall. In the previous triathlon, Jim consumed a more than copious amount of beer, exceeding 4 and three quarters of a ninth kegs, or, 18 yaffles (local slang term of measurement).

The second event is the "chain smoking challenge". In this event, the candidates are required so smoke as many consecutive cigarettes as possible in the 30 minutes allotted. In the last election, Jim smoked an unknown number of cigarettes, due to the fact that electoral officers are still counting the butts on the floor of the local pub.

The third and final event is known as the "Skeet shoot off". This event is performed atop the local church and mainly consists of inebriated local persons bombarding passing skeets (drunk baymen shooting skeets). The candidate who collects the most shot skeets wins the event. Last year, Jim broke the past record, hitting over 100 skeets.

Jim's long lasting political dedication has cost him an arm and a leg, so to speak, and a liver and a lung, literally. Jim is a local legend and has been spotted at numerous award ceremonies, digging through the trash.

Excellent citizen and devoted baymen, Jim has dedicated the remainder of his life to politics, an estimated 4 years, at the ripe age of 32. The man, the bayman, the legend, mayor Jim Bartlett, will not soon be forgotten by man and bayman alike.

"Hey by's, betcha can't do this..." - Jim Bartlett.