User talk:Jimmy Catfanatic/sandbox

Progress
Waiting to get access to textbook from library Jimmy Catfanatic (talk) 23:51, 12 November 2023 (UTC)

Peer Review - 11/12/2023
This is a fascinating topic, and your outlining and writing are very good! Your structure is great. I like the use of sections to break up the content, and they seem well chosen. Maybe consider officially adding a first section after the lead paragraph called "Introduction". My other overarching comment is to include citations with at least every paragraph. Here are some specific comments on the different sections:

Lead I recommend a punchier and more information-rich first sentence. E.g. "Disaster psychiatry is a field of psychiatry concerned with care of patients during natural disasters, large accidents..." Also, consider whether the quote at the end of the paragraph could be paraphrased into your own words without reducing the clarity. Source #1 and #3 look good, but source #2 link was broken for me.

Unique Features - First sentence could be tightened up. I think a declarative positive sentence will be more effective: "Disaster psychiatry focuses on caring for people experiencing normal psychological and behavioral responses to traumatic events, whereas traditional psychiatric practice focuses on identifying and treating mental illness." Also, this paragraph may be a good place to link back to the basic Psychiatry article. I recommend finding a citation for this paragraph too.

Effect of Disasters on Mental Health Great paragraph and full of information. I was unsure of whether the first list of symptoms are considered pathological or not. I know you said they are typical, but I was unsure if your meant "common" or not, and it may be helpful to hammer home that you can have anxiety without having Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The last sentence might benefit from examples of impact on "community mental health", or perhaps a link to a relevant wikipedia page would ease that burden on writing it out yourself.

Risk Factors and Assessment of Patients This will be a good paragraph to round out the first section.

Summary
The whole draft is really interesting and the outlining is spot on. I look forward to reading your upcoming drafts, and let me know if you have any questions on my feedback! Percentol (talk) 01:32, 13 November 2023 (UTC)