User talk:Jimmy MacKeyboard

Admiral Tweddle
I am not sure what you meant about the acceptability of the message. if you mean the one to me, there was nothing to object to 06:10, 30 June 2009 (UTC)
 * To reference, add a section as shown at the end of this message
 * By links, I meant wikilinks eg Royal Navy instead of Royal Navy, linking to relevant wikipedia articles
 * Bear in mind that unless you own the copyright to the book, you cannot copy text, even if he is your father
 * There is a double trap in terms of writing an article here. His book was a personal recollection, not an encyclopaedia article, so following the text too slavishly may lead to non-neutral text, as may the closeness of your relationship. Write the article as a professional historian might.

More
There is nothing to stop you recreating the article, and I won't delete it, but if the third para is posted as it stands, I will remove it. Please summarise the factual part, which you can illustrate with a quote from the book (not of the whole story, it's too long). jimfbleak (talk) 05:44, 5 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Note that ships' names should be italicised eg HMS Dreadnought.
 * The long third paragraph is still a problem; it is written as a story, rather than an encyclopaedia article, and still looks like a cut-and paste job. Just look at the opening sentence It is worth recounting a little of this long forgotten incident... Who says it's worth recounting? that's a non-neutral pov. Who says it's long forgotten, and if it is, why is it notable?
 * The crew were now desperate to abandon the mission. Nights were spent listening to the sounds of the jungle with thought of having their throats cut by some unseen enemy. total speculation. Even the Admiral couldn't know this, and it certainly can't be presented as encyclopaedic fact. There's more in the same vein.
 * The same paragraph is desperately underlinked. I'm sure that Ross, malaria and others have Wikipedia articles
 * Much of the third paragraph, if it's retained in some form, needs a genuinely independent source, which the book is not since it's written by a participant