User talk:Jjhagen/sandbox

Under the "Good" governance vs. "bad" governance section, the [14] citation doesn't appear to be linked to anything.

Under "Forms of Legitimate Governance," the following sentence is confusing: "In determining the political legitimacy of a system of rule and government, the term proper—political legitimacy—is philosophically an essentially contested concept that facilitates understanding the different applications and interpretations of abstract, qualitative, and evaluative concepts such as "art", "social justice", et cetera, as applied in aesthetics, political philosophy, the philosophy of history, and the philosophy of religion." I know that's coming straight from the current version, but that is a doozy of a sentence.

It looks like overall most of what's been done to this page so far is reorganization and the potential elimination of some unnecessary sections (two sections called "Forms," for example). I really like the direction this page appears to be taking in terms of reorganization and refocusing. It's hard to do much more review without knowing what your future plans are for the page, but I think what is here is moving in a good direction. I'm happy to chat more about where other changes might be made and what else you plan to do with this page to continue improving it!

BaileyPoland (talk) 01:22, 24 July 2018 (UTC)

Hey Jamie,

In the lead paragraph, I was thinking that it might makes sense to split "Another challenge to the political legitimacy offered by elections is whether or not women or those who are incarcerated are allowed to vote" into two different sentences. One that says whether or not all people are allowed to vote. And then another that points out that some governments have prohibited/do prohibit individuals from voting based on their gender/race/class as well as status as a formerly incarcerated person.

It looks strong overall. I second Bailey's sentiments that if you want to get a second opinion on additional changes you are thinking through, I'm happy to chat. It's certainly not my area of expertise, but I can give an outsider's reading perspective.

FrEvBrt (talk) 13:53, 31 July 2018 (UTC)