User talk:Jmha2016/sandbox

Student Feedback This is a great start. Everything seems reasonable as long as you provide the sources, which I'm assuming you already know to do. I like how you focus it on more closely showing how the act affects people, but maybe it could be stronger if you mention the eight categories of human rights and then discuss how the act violates specific categories. Also maybe you can add the perspective of other women of color so people can see how many different communities the act affected.

I would say the best way to keep a neutral tone would be to incorporate the parts of the original article that displays a side of the act that you do not cover. Another approach to a neutral tone would be to find sources/ articles that are written by perspectives that are different than what you are currently using. As for your worry about sounding to argumentative, so far I do not read it that way and I believe you are doing great. Suggestions to help keep the article sounding more expository would be to write down more of the facts and events that happened and try not to give your personal opinion or use any verbs that would suggest that you are being argumentative.

Jsuar99 (talk) 04:16, 22 April 2019 (UTC)