User talk:Jmklug16/sandbox

Kluge, The article is good and coherent in my opinion. It's concise and serves the purpose for which you're writing. A few small recommendations: the capital "O" in "Offers" (3rd or so word in), the hyphen in Aquinas' question 94, and then the two sentences between the catechism definition and Pope Benedict about psychological beginnings seem out of place and kind of vague. Maybe some more context and a sentence more of explaining would help? Other than that looks good!

Feedback on draft
John: This is clearly written, but it doesn't seem to be based on the sources that you emailed me. These are not academic sources, and aren't appropriate for this assignment. Please use the academic secondary sources to write a draft, and let me know when you've done that, so that I can look at it and give you feedback.

Mbrzycki (talk) 18:09, 20 March 2019 (UTC)

John: This is better. Make sure you clarify whose writing you are quoting and citing. The second sentence just says "She writes," and it's unclear who "she" is. Also you have a number of quotations that you attribute to Karol Wojtyla (I would suggest you refer to him as Pope John Paul II to avoid confusion,) but the citations are from different academic works. Also, make sure that all interpretations of primary sources and statements are backed up with secondary sources.

Mbrzycki (talk) 20:08, 3 April 2019 (UTC)