User talk:Joeka555/sandbox

Mike's Peer Review
Hello,

The article drafting looks great so far. The use of in-text hyperlinks and other formatting is impressive. Using the current introduction from the article is a good call as it does a good job of outlining what to expect in the article. I also think it was a good call in removing the section about polymers that do not strain crystallize, as it seems irrelevant. The wording of the section about the effects of strain crystallization seems like it could be trimmed down. The first sentence, though related to strain crystallization, is another subject in itself and could probably be referenced in a hyperlink to crystal structure. The piece about vulcanization works great and this approach in explaining the effects of the process for other materials would be a good way of outlining the effects. I think there is a good opportunity for an applications section of this where different materials and uses could be discussed as well as possible history of the science behind it if you were running short on ideas.

-Mike

Thanks for the feedback Mike. I will spend some time trying to find more applications of Strain Crystallization, as well as the history of how it was discovered. I will also attempt to clean up the Effects Section.

Joeka555 (talk) 00:59, 3 December 2018 (UTC)

Angela's Peer Review
The way you have organized your information makes it very easy to follow and comprehend what you are explaining, however you are missing an introduction paragraph that describes in a single sentence what your topic is about. This introduction is very similar to the very first sentences that you read when you google search something. Overall, great job! Amarino789 (talk) 20:08, 2 December 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for the feedback, I will make sure to add that in. Joeka555 (talk) 00:52, 3 December 2018 (UTC)

Alex's Peer Review
DisposableHero19 (talk) 22:52, 2 December 2018 (UTC)
 * Everything in the article is well organized and well formatted. Talking about how strain crystallization occurs before mentioning the effects gives the article good flow.
 * All of the information in the article is neutral.
 * There are citations throughout and they all work.
 * There are reliable references throughout the work.
 * All of the information is up to date and relevant.

Thanks for the help. Joeka555 (talk) 00:49, 3 December 2018 (UTC)

MECH 2960 Instructor Review
I agree with your peers things are looking great! My suggestions are as follows:

Section on Introduction/Contents:
 * It's probably obvious to say, but in your "Contents" section, I assume you will not be uploading anything after the "sources" section?
 * Your first sentence is good (coming from the original article). However, maybe it could be slightly improved -- right now it says that amorphous solid undergoes a phase transformation due to the application of strain. This is true, but also a little less specific than is possible.  To be more specific, it undergoes a crystal phase transformation ... i.e., it forms a crystal due to the strain. Maybe edit to make this more explicit?
 * Is it important in the introductory sentences to list how to measure crystallinity? I think it's relevant to the article in general, but is not critical in the introduction. Maybe you could move it to a different section
 * You say that the phenomenon has important effects on strength and fatigue, but you don't specify any details on the effects ... I think it makes both higher, right? If so, then you could say it has important effects on increasing strength and fatigue resistance. Or something like that!

Section on "How Strain Crystallization Occurs"
 * For the sentence "Strain Crystallization occurs when the chains of molecules in a material are ordered during deformation activities.[2]" Do you want the C of Crystallization to be capitalized?  I don't think it needs to be (you don't in the introduction).  Instead of saying "are ordered" I might say "become ordered" ... after all, it's a change that is occurring. Does this occur in non-polymer materials? You may wish to say the word polymer somewhere.
 * For the sentence "The three factors that affect strain crystallization the most is the materials itself, the temperature, and the deformation being applied to the material.[3]" You may wish to rephrase "The three factors that affect strain crystallization the most" to "The three primary factors that affect strain crystallization".  You have a verb subject agreement issue "The three factors ... is", please fix. Instead of saying "the materials itself", maybe say in a way to emphasizes what it is about the material ... the "polymer molecular structure".
 * For the sentences "If a polymer's molecular structure is too irregular, strain crystallization is not possible. This is because the molecular structure cannot be order when deformation is applied.[1]" can you see a way to improve the specificity about why this is the case?
 * For the sentences "In general, the greater the deformation applied to the material, the higher the rate of crystallization.[1] When the material is released after the deformation activity, crystallization continues to occur.[3]" ... you are describing the effects, but not necessarily answering the question "why?".  I would love to know why these things are occurring!
 * For the sentence "In addition, it generally (depends on material) takes extreme amounts of deformation in order to begin the crystallization process.[1]" You say "generally" which implies it is material dependent, so maybe don't need the parenthetical comment.  You say "extreme" amounts of deformation, but it would be more useful to cite a range of strains, which is more specific than the adjective "extreme".
 * What about the title of this section, do you think that it matches what you have written about?

Section on "Effects of Strain Crystallization"
 * I'm confused by this sentence: "It is this concept that makes strain crystallization affect the material it is occurring in."
 * The sentence "For example, the strength of a material can exponentially increase when undergoing strain crystallization.[1]" ... an exponential increase is one where it follows an e^x function. Is that true?  Or does it just "increase substantially"?  The word exponential in science/engineering has a very specific meaning.
 * The sentence "This effect of strain crystallization can be spectated in vulcanized natural rubber, ..." The word spectated is a bit odd of a choice, is there a more common word that could be used to still get across the same meaning?
 * Overall, I don't know if this section has been much/at all changed. But I suspect that you could provide some details about the strength and fatigue that were started to be mentioned in the introduction, but then nothing additional was said here.

For the figure, is this available in the public domain? Just want to make sure!

Finally, you do not have the section of "Elastomers that Strain Crystallize", will you plan to keep that, or were you getting rid of it? I agree with getting rid of the list of polymers that don't strain crystallize (that'd be any polymer not listed as being able to crystallize!!!). Are the two polymers you list under the "Polymers that Strain Crystallize" the only two? Or are there more in literature? Maybe you should expand this list to be at least 4 or 5.

UML MECH2960 (talk) 15:11, 8 December 2018 (UTC)