User talk:Johhny Appleseed

Who is George Washington? The answer is a boss. When he was 12 years old, he killed his first man with a paperclip. It's claimed that he shit himself as soon as his dad had saw what he has done. But his dad just gave him a pat on the back and said, "drink up that solid waste through a straw". That was when George saw that he had a bright future in military enforcement. One winter, during the Civil War, he was stranded by himself in Farmington, Michigan. So he cut open his horse, ate the insides, and climbed inside for warmth. He would drink his own urine to stay hydrated. 50 years later, George was found frozen in the dead horse. But scientist were able to thaw him and bring him back to life. Since he was still in killing mode, he was thirsty for some murder. This is now as the Valentine's Day Masacre. He ran to the nearest Petting Zoo and killed every last animal and child. He made the parents watch. Later that day, the KKK spotted him and killed him because he was taking all their kills. He lived from 1775-1902, which was considered a long life back in the day.