User talk:Jordann5225!

Welcome!
Hello, Jordann5225!, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 16:16, 18 September 2018 (UTC)

--UTRSBot (talk) 23:00, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

IP Block Exemption
I have granted your account an exemption from IP blocking. This will allow you to edit through full blocks affecting your IP address when you are logged in.

Please read the page IP block exemption carefully, especially the section on IP block exemption conditions.

Appropriate usage and compliance with the policy may be checked (through the use of CheckUser) periodically, due to the nature of block exemption, and block exemption will be removed when no longer needed (for example, when the block it is related to expires).

I hope this will enhance your editing, and allow you to edit successfully and without disruption. — Berean Hunter   (talk)  00:21, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

— Berean Hunter   (talk)  00:21, 11 October 2018 (UTC)
 * I have issued you a one week block exemption to help you get your assignment finished by midnight tonight as expected. After the exemption expires, you should avoid using that webhost. It is also a bad idea to wait until the day something is due to turn it in. Good luck on your assignment.

Gwen Haworth
Minor Revisions Needed TA3301 (talk) 14:32, 15 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Good sources!
 * Is it possible to expand the lead section? — Preceding unsigned comment added by TA3301 (talk • contribs) 14:34, 15 October 2018 (UTC)
 * Remove "With her hard work and dedication as a filmmaker" from the last sentence of the Biography section
 * Remove "They say that when someone comes out of the closet, they can't stop talking about it. Vancouver filmmaker Gwen Haworth not only talked she made a movie" from the Life & Career section
 * There are several instances of promotional language in this draft, phrases like "sensitive eye," "eye-opening," and "emotionally charged" should be removed.
 * All instances of She's a Boy I Knew should be italicized
 * In the Life & Career section correct the pronoun use to "she/her" throughout
 * There is some repetition of information in the Awards section


 * Hi! I have some notes as well:
 * I agree with what wrote. I think I know why you used the male pronouns, as I think that you were trying to show that she was transitioning from Steven to Gwen, however I think it could be rephrased as something like "the film begins in 2000 when Haworth, then named Steven, came out to her family about her life-long female gender identity. The reason I think that you should use the female pronoun here is that while she was named Steven, she still identified as female. If she was using male pronouns at that point you could phrase it as "then named Steven and using male pronouns".
 * This needs more sourcing to show where Gwen is independently notable outside of the documentary. The coverage here is entirely about her as it pertains to her film, so this doesn't show where she's notable for other things. On Wikipedia if a person has only gained coverage for a single work, in most cases we will have only one article, typically the film but occasionally for the work instead. With that, it depends on what is made first to be honest.
 * The further readings section needed to be retitled, as further readings is used to list works that have been written about the individual and/or their works. I've retitled and moved this.
 * With the award section, I'd recommend turning it into a list section. This article is written in a very, very praising tone towards Gwen. She is amazing, but the article needs to be written in a neutral tone. It's especially easy for awards sections to become promotional, so it's best to keep them as simple as possible.
 * This needs some tweaking for grammar and flow.
 * Ultimately the two biggest issues here are tone and notability - her documentary is undoubtedly notable, but so far it looks like this is the main thing that she has received coverage for. You need more sourcing here that shows coverage for Gwen's other works, to show where she's notable for more than just the single documentary. In cases where people are really only known for one work or thing, it's rare that there will be enough coverage to really justify an article for both them and their work. It looks like this is why the page for her was deleted and redirected to the film last year, so you will have to work especially hard to establish independent notability or any new article will just be redirected to the documentary article as creating new articles after a deletion is a bit harder. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 13:51, 16 October 2018 (UTC)