User talk:Jordanosmond/sandbox

Jordan,

Both topics are great choices and could be expanded upon greatly. Be sure to make a literature search on both topics before deciding which to develop. You may find that, aside from examples of systems/species, there is not much currently known. Jpethier (talk) 15:13, 7 February 2018 (UTC)jpethier

peer review
Your draft is not completed, there needs to be some work done to form actual sections in the article so its easier to follow. There needs to be a larger number of sources included in the article also some of the sections of the article aren't finished yet. Other than that the writing in the article is fairly well done. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Rileyregular18 (talk • contribs) 02:16, 17 March 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review
Hi Jordan! Your article is off to a great start so far. The purpose of this peer review is to provide constructive feedback that will help to improve the article. I have listed some potential edits for your article that you can consider as you make changes for the final draft. Here are some comments and potential edits:

Your article is well organized. However, when making these Wikipedia articles, it’s important to remember the structure that the Wikipedia article must be presented in. For all of your headings, both major and minor, you’ve used capital lettering, and on Wikipedia these should be lowercase except for the first word (unless a proper noun). I made this same error in my article, too. There is also a heading format on Wikipedia, where you select the heading type (eg. Heading 1, heading 2 etc). You just need to put your headings in this format. I really liked reading your lead section — it was clear, easy to read and understand. The tutorial for this week mentioned that lead sections should give a good indication of what the article is about. Your lead did give a good indication of what the article is about. One important aspect of your article is “Lottery Model.” The “Lottery Model” was not talked about in your lead section. I think that your lead will give a better indication of what your article is about if you include the “Lottery Model” in your lead. On Wikipedia, the term you use in the first sentence of the lead has to be bold, your term is “Competition-Colonization Trade-off” – so make sure to bold this term for the final version. Your draft is well cited with peer-reviewed references, which is excellent! However, some sentences are not cited. The last sentence of your lead is missing a citation, as well as the first four sentences and last sentence under the section “Levins and Culver Model.” Also, all your sentences under the section “Lottery Model” are missing citations. It’s easy to forget that Wikipedia articles require all sentences to be cited. In addition, when making your citation, remember to use the Wikipedia format, as you did in the first two sentences in your lead instead of using a “2” as seen in your second last sentences under the section “Levins and Culver Model” – I’m assuming the “2” is a reference because I do that when I’m making a draft as well.

While I’m not the best at grammar myself, I did notice some grammar errors that can be improved. Some sentences throughout the article are run-on sentences, which should be broken up by periods and commas. For example, this sentence: “dp1/dt = c1p1(1 - p1) - m1p1 dp2/dt = c2p2(1 - p1 - p2) - m2p2 - c1p1p2 where pi = fraction of patches that are occupied by a species (i) ci = colonization rate of species (i) mi = mortality rate, independent of patch density Species 1 = competitor, can colonize in area that is not inhabited by species 2 (1 - p1) Species 2 = colonizer, can only colonize in uninhabited areas (1 - p1 - p2) Species 2 is subject to predator displacement (- c1p1p2) If species 2 has a higher colonization rate it can coexist with species 1 (c2 > c12/m).” is too long. One thing that can be making it too long is missing periods, like how there should be a period between “(- c1p1p2)” and “If.” If a period was there, it would make the sentence shorter. You can break the sentence down into short sentences. I would suggest explaining each part of the equation in separate sentences. Also, this sentence is an example of where commas are missing. When making a list, each item needs to be followed by a comma. For example, there should be a comma between “ci = colonization rate of species (i)” and “mi = mortality rate.” Another example of where a comma should go is between “dp1/dt = c1p1(1 - p1) - m1p1 dp2/dt = c2p2(1 - p1 - p2) - m2p2 - c1p1p2” and “where.” These grammar improvements will make your article easier to read and understand, as I found it a little hard to follow with the missing periods and commas. I also really like that the content of the body of your draft goes into depth on the models. I would suggest providing some examples of how the model has been used in recent or previous studies to help with the understanding of the models.

Overall, you have organized and cited the article well and have good points to talk about. More explanation of the models is needed, and some examples should be included, too. All of the references are peer reviewed and in the correct format, but a heading for the reference section is needed. The tone of the article is encyclopedic and the information is informative and not persuasive. Good Job!

--Leah Curnew (talk) 21:39, 18 March 2018 (UTC)