User talk:JoshDoctsonJD/sandbox

CrazyGPLady's Peer Review
There is no list of any awards or nominations for her work. Your article seems a bit more fluffy than it should be, try going more to the point instead of adding information that is unnecessary. For example: “The first film is called Mar de Rosas, and is Carolina’s first fiction film. Released in 1977, the title is an expression that roughly translates into “everything is fine” in English. As the film establishes right away, everything is not fine. Presented in the Road Movie genre, Mar de Rosas tells the story of a woman that slits her husband’s throat and flees with her child. Shot from a feminist perspective, the film provides commentary on patriarchy and feminist discontent. This discontent is not strictly limited to the characters within the fictional landscape, and speaks much more broadly to the nation at whole.” could become “Her first film released in 1977 was titled Mar de Rosas, translated into Everything is Fine. The film is shot from a feminist perspective with interpretations open to the viewer.” The summaries of films is nice but not always necessary, you are writing about the person not doing a review of their films.

Minor revisions necessary. Opening sentence is awkwardly phrased, consider rewording for clarity. The second paragraph of the Early Career section could be reworded. You mention her interest in workers, then her interest in artistic process and then again at the end an interest in workers and labour. Restructuring this section to include all the information about her documentaries on workers and labour unions up front before moving into her films about artistic process will make the whole section a lot more clear. “As the film establishes right away, everything is not fine.” - This sentence is to colloquial. You’ve done good work with this draft of your article. I have mentioned above some specific things that you should look at while revising your article before posting. As well, you may want to reconsider the Impact section at the end, I am unsure about Wikipedia’s policies around Dissertations as sources.

Batcow39 (talk) 16:47, 21 February 2018 (UTC)

AzaAyla's peer review
I believe the article gives a clear general view of Ana Carolina’s work. It adds new topics to the already existing article about her, such as her own take on her work. The division between her early work and documentaries and feature films portrays her transition in Cinema genres. However, I believe there are some suggestions that would make your article even stronger, as she is such an influential personality in Brazilian Cinema! First, I would recommend write a little more about her biography. Adding her full name, for example – Ana Carolina Teixeira Soares – and her background. I will translate to you some information found in Itau Cultural Encyclopedia. She is daughter of immigrants - that worked in sales - from Spain; middle class; studied in a conservative German school when young. She graduated in 1964 from University of São Paulo Med School. 2 years later, she entered a course in School of Physiotherapy with specialization in cerebral palsy and was involved in university politics. In 1966-1968, she was part of a music group called “Musikantiga” that played Renaissance songs. In 1967, she goes to Social Sciences School and leaves it for "Escola Superior de Cinema da Faculdade São Luiz” (Superior School of Cinema in São Luiz University). I would also suggest mentioning in the begging of the article the fact that she is an important and influential female filmmaker during the Military Dictatorship (1964-1985) and that relevant amount of her work was attacked by censorship. Here is a reference to this information: “Yet she is not alone. Ana Carolina reflects on her own experience with censorship, stoically listing the films that have come under attack: “I always had experiences with censorship. Pantanal did. Guerra do Paraguai did. Getúlio did. Mar de Rosas did. Das Tripas did. I really had years and years—Sonho de Valsa didn't’.”. Another suggestion is to translate some of her film titles, as there are existing English versions. I believe it would not be a bad idea either to add a topic listing her “Awards and Nominations”. Relating to the text, I found the information about passionate kissing her brother confusing. It seems irrelevant, if it is not well explained. I would either take it out or elaborate. Here is a reference to her importance: Mar de Rosas was listed as one of the best 100 Brazilian films by Abraccine. h Here are some movie titles translated and some that could be included in the article: Das Tripas Coração – Hearts and Guts Mar de Rosas – Sea of Roses Sonho de Valsa – Dream Waltz Nelson Pereira dos Santos Saúda o Povo e Pede Passagem – short movie (1970) Guerra do Paraguai – short movie (1970) Anatomia do Espectador (1979) And also more information translated from Itau Cultural Encyclopedia that you may find interesting : She worked in continuity for “As Amorosas” and made “A Feira”. In 1968, same year she made “Lavra-dor”, she got involved in Thomaz Farkas’s group in research and selection of material for a series called “A Condição Brasileira” (The Brazilian Condition). In the same year, she directed “Industria” and some propaganda films for "Sonima S.A". She also was involved with marketing films for "DPZ" in 1971. In 1969, she opened “Area Produções Cinematográficas” production company and directed some short movies after that: Guerra do Paraguai (1969), Monteiro Lobato (1970), Pantanal (1971), Três desenhos (1972) e A Fiandeira (1972). She also edited and was part of musical selection in "A Mulher de Todos" (1970). Was part of research and edits in films for a series called "Globo-Shell Especial" (1971). In 1973, she worked at Blimp Filmes and was part of montage for short-movie called "Salada Paulista" – that has an episode directed by her, "O Sonho não acabou". Ney Sroulevitch proposes her "Getúlio Vargas Trabalhadores do Brasil" as a tribute to ex-president and 20 year anniversary of his death. She did research in Cinemateca Brasileira about "cinejornais" (cinema newspapers) of DIP - Department of Press and Propaganda for this movie. In 1977, she created Crystal Cinematográfica production company. Ana Carolina also wrote a book for Funarte: "Primo Carbonari, Dopo Entrare". "Das tripas coração" was released after 4 months censored from censorship. She also directed operas "Adiadne em Naxos" (1988) and "Salomé" (2003), both by Richard Strauss, for Teatro Municipal do Rio de Janeiro and wrote 2 screenplays: "As Fraldas da Providência" and "A Primeira Missa" in a crisis phase of Brazilian Cinema. "A Primeira Missa would become her last film (2014) featuring Fernanda Montenegro – well known Brazilian actress. Finally, I recommend you check all these information instead of just copying it from me if you really use it! Another source to confirm everything may be necessary. I hope I helped in any way! AzaAyla (talk) 12:07, 25 February 2018 (UTC)