User talk:Joshahn419/sandbox

Nice, thorough evaluation of the two pages. Can you think of specific changes you would make to improve the plant phys article? Jmmcabee (talk) 17:51, 18 April 2017 (UTC)jmmcabee

Comments on Ideas Draft
Have you thoroughly investigated the talk pages of both articles? It sounds like the physiology of Mimosa needs to be updated or at least expanded. Your sentence is a good one, but may need an additional clarifying sentence- why is it important? As for plant cognition, that's going to be tricky. I like your idea of including a definition, but your sentence didn't seem really clear. Read it aloud or have a friend read it and see if it conveys the meaning you want to express. I don't want to steer you away from this topic, but I do think it could be a trickier one to handle. I have a book that could help you should you choose to go this route. Also you may want to spend some time seeing if you can stimulate discussion on the talk page (which currently has almost nothing!). Your citations don't look complete to me, with just a webpage link to an actual article. Jmmcabee (talk) 18:38, 26 April 2017 (UTC)jmmcabee

Comments on Article Revision
Looks like you have some good additions here. You'll have to be careful about how you add your new text into the existing article. Does this go into the lead paragraph or in a new section. Also check the definition as already given on Wikipedia to see if the swarm intelligence fits into it. You may need a more specific reference for that, if so. Also, when you contribute to a talk page, make sure to sign off with your user name. Jmmcabee (talk) 20:38, 10 May 2017 (UTC)jmmcabee

Comments on Peer Review
I'm assuming you are adding to the research section? The addition is written well. You clearly stated what the biologist found from the study he did. Although, I'm not sure how swarm behaviors in insects relate to plant cognition. Maybe you could expand more on that? That was the only thing that distracted me from the paragraph. Everything else looks great! Husky212 (talk) 05:44, 22 May 2017 (UTC)