User talk:Josie Hoffman/sandbox2

Peer Review
"Swift also says this that men tend to view woman as objects and not as individuals with a personality and emotions." in this sentence the word this needs to be removed because it does not make sense.

"the worlds eyes some cases may be that theydisovle an eating disorder" "theydisolve"??? should it be "they develop"

Peer Review
Use sources such as how advertisers use women, instead if anecdotal evidence, other than that the draft is structured well.

peer review
This is very one sided. remember that wikipedia is very neutral.

also Huff post is very liberal and one sided their not going to offer much real facts its all just opinions of their editors. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Plumsac (talk • contribs) 14:44, 11 March 2019 (UTC)

Draft Feedback
Good draft, with good ideas presented. There are several grammar errors, however, so you'll need to revise so that it fits in with what's already published. Add citations when you upload. JAirhart 14:21, 12 March 2019 (UTC) — Preceding unsigned comment added by Airhartcomp (talk • contribs)