User talk:JossDude

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Helpme request: review of Gillette Mach 3
Gillette Mach 3. Please Could someone check this document as it is my first entry.


 * Hi JossDude! Sure, I can get someone to take a look at the article for you. Just so you know, helpme is really only meant to be used on your own talk page. I have asked your question here, at the Newcomers help page. Experienced editors will give you feedback soon! --Commander Keane 18:28, 16 March 2006 (UTC)

Gillette Mach 3
Hi JossDude, I applaude you for creating Gillette Mach 3 your first article! I can tell that you put a lot of work into it. Since you requested that some people look over the article, I have a few suggestions for you. Don't worry if it seems like a lot, as you continue to contribute to Wikipedia most of the things will become second nature to you. I hope you find these suggestions helpful. I also hope I haven't overwhelmed you! Let me know if you have any other questions. -- Nataly a 21:42, 16 March 2006 (UTC)
 * In your leading paragraph, you give very positive reviews of the razor. While that might not seem bad, Wikipedia operates on a neutral point of view policy.  It is important that when writing articles, you are sure to not describe anything leaning one way or the other.  Sentences such as "Mach 3 cartridges are the world's best selling razor blades.", do not quite follow that (unless it has been statistically proven, in which case it would be important to elaborate on exactly how they are the world's best selling razor, citing verifiable sources).
 * Only reading over the article generally, I have encountered a few of typographical errors. Most of them are grammatical, so it's hard for a spell-checker to catch them, but it's usually a good idea to read over your article a few times before posting it - or even getting someone else to read over it!  More than one set of eyes is always good.  A few that I saw:
 * (Under Handle):"The Gillette Mach 3 is made from many different components this picture shows what the disassembled handle is constructed from." - This should probably be two different sentances, or at least split between "components" and "this".
 * (Under Grips):"The placement of these ejector pins needs to be carefully thought about as; it is very easy to see on an injection mould..." - A semicolon is not needed here; if you wanted to keep it in, it should go after "about" and the "as" should be taken out.
 * When you get into describing the specific parts of the razor and its mechanics, the descriptions are sometimes hard to understand as the sentences seem to run on, especially in the "Grips" and "Main Rubberised Section" sections. I can tell that you are very knowlegable about the subject, but since many of the readers may not be, it is good to try to describe things in less-complicated terms.
 * In the sections "Main Cast Component" and "Joint Between Head and Handle", the writing turns to the first person point of view (you start saying "I" a lot). Like almost all encyclopedias, articles on Wikipeda should be in the third person.  Also, you want to avoid addressing the reader by saying "you", as you do briefly in your leading paragraph ("when it is nearly white, you are supposed to change the blade.").
 * Lastly, consider taking a look at Only make links that are relevant to the context. While you haven't made any excessive links, the guidelines give a better idea of what should and shouldn't be linked to.

Gillette Mach 3 Edits with a Jackhammer
Hey Joss ... Dude!

I just joined the Wiki Community today, and noticed your call for review on your Mach3 entry. I took the liberty of diving right in on the first section, please take a look at it when you can.

I already modified the article to address the first issue Natalya had with your intro paragraph.

I plan on continuing to work on this (if you don't mind). Since most of my efforts on Wiki will most likely be in an editorial capacity rather than authorship, I would welcome the chance to help you out here.

I asked Commander Keane about an issue, the "Mach 3" is trademarked and so forth as the "Mach3" (no space). I did a global search / replace on it, there were only about 5 instances of the full name in the article. But I'm not sure how to "add" "Mach3" as a header for a search.

Good article and fun reading. I never would have thought the Mach3 would be so interesting! It's a testament to how hard you've worked on this. Ziggles Metropolitan 22:46, 16 March 2006 (UTC)

Thankyou
Thanks Alot from all of the great information, all is very appriciated.

Will try to get rid of the first person asap.

Feel free to edit and alter the whole section, as i said it is my first true entry and it needs work.

Thanks again Joss

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Pro/DESKTOP
Hey JossDude, I noticed you moved the article "Pro Desktop" to "Pro/Desktop" (I moved it again to Pro/DESKTOP but that's not important). Be sure to use the "move" tab at the top of article (Article | Discussion | Edit this page | History | Move | Watch) when moving pages. Doing it this way moves the article history and generates an automatic redirect on the old page to the new page. I learned the hard way myself. Thanks! ♫ Bitch and Complain Sooner ♫ 22:41, 20 March 2006 (UTC)

Gillette Mach 3 Photo Modified, please comment
Hey there Joss. I modified your photo of the Mach3, with the intention of working some more on the main entry. Do you have an issue with this labeling before I start? Just want to check with you before I do anything else.

Thanks.

Ziggy

Category:Dyslexic Wikipedians
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Sorry so late
Sorry to get back to you so late, but I'm not fluent in Arabic. I know some greetings, I can "read" the script somewhat, meaning phonetically, and I know some vocabulary, but that's it. I am Muslim only. Sorry I got back to you so late. Later! -- JBull12 02:56, 2 June 2006 (UTC)

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Your signature
Your signature links your posts to you - please put alink to your user page in it at least. -- 9  cds (talk) 09:41, 21 June 2006 (UTC)

Happy Birthday!
Many happy returns!!!

Thistheman 01:39, 25 June 2006 (UTC)

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ArbCom elections are now open!
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