User talk:Jpeliz/sandbox

Article review-suggestions to consider:
Hello Jpeliz,

In looking at the Geographic Distribution section of the existing Wiki article entitled American Sign Language, a few suggestions come to mind.

-the word 'seems' is vague in the sentence: 'The unique situation of ASL seems to have been caused by the proliferation of ASL through schools influenced by the American School for the Deaf, wherein ASL originated, and the rise of community organizations for the deaf.'

-also, parsing this into two or three sentences and rewording would increase clarity

-consider, Since ASL originated at the American School for the Deaf, a residential school, over the years numerous students attended ASD, learned ASL, graduated and returned to their homes in many parts of the country and thereby spread the use of ASL throughout the US.

-perhaps expand on this idea of community organizations for the deaf (what are they; what is their function; and how did they contribute to the use of ASL throughout the country-be sure to support and to elaborate a bit more on your claim.)

-In the sentence, 'These languages, imported by boarding schools,....' clarity could be greater in that boarding schools do not import languages.

-consider, 'Again, residential schools (boarding schools) for the deaf provided a fertile ground for students to learn and to spread ASL. As students returned to their home countries, this promoted the continued use of ASL. ASL eventually came to be considered the official sign language in each of these West African countries and as such they were named accordingly...' -to write concisely, consider 'It is unknown how similar these sign languages are to the variety of ASL used in America' instead of the longer 'Due to a lack of data, it is still an open question how similar these sign languages are to the variety of ASL used in America.'

-Question: when ASL is referenced as being the sign language used in the many countries listed, is it actually ASL or a derivation of ASL? Be precise with wording.

Jullian Drews (talk) 01:03, 19 March 2018 (UTC)

Adrienne's Peer Review
The wording in the section for Sign production seems a bit choppy. If there is any way to elaborate on what you mean by "South tend to sign with more flow and ease" etc., and possibly combining some of the sentences, I think that'd make the paragraph flow a bit better. Maybe if you started off by explaining that studies have shown that lifestyle speed in different regions have an effect on sign production, it would ease the readers into the the section better.

In sign variants, you should specify about where those signs are different like if one sign was different in California than from New York. Definitely add videos of the signs if possible rather than still images.

In the history portion, could it also be possible that just like in English, because the communities across the countries are so different, the way they sign (just like how they talk in English) is varied because of cultural community differences and not just because they're secluded from other Deaf communities and residential schools?

Great work so far! Adrisheh (talk) 02:51, 20 March 2018 (UTC)