User talk:Jpoiry/sandbox

I copied what you wrote so I could look at it and respond. Also any of your sentences that I changed I also put in brackets.

[One thing to note about the Office of the Pardon Attorney is that they handle every and all federal clemency related correspondences, including applications and petitions, etc.[1] The first step of the Office's job is to receive the applications and or petitions,etc, and review them.[2] They then investigate the further, the applications along with whatever files were sent with in order to make more valid the requester's plea for pardonment.[2] They then formulate a recommendation for each application, and send them on to for final decision by the president as to whether or not give them a pardon.[2] As of current, Larry Kupers holds the position of Deputy Pardon Attorney, and William Taylor II holds the executive officer position.[2]]

You could create your own subheading under the Office of the Pardon Attorney page. You could name it "Specific Steps of the Office of the Pardon Attorney" or something similar to that. I would start off then with a sentence summarizing what you're going to talk about. For example, altering your first sentence, [The Pardon Attorney handles all federal clemency related correspondences, including applications and petitions.][1] Thus, the office takes multiple steps to carry out the clemency process (Or some similar sentence to that).

Other notes: I would avoid the use of "etc." Don't say "They then" as the start of two congruent sentences. Change pardonment to pardoning. Look for other grammatical errors

If you want to include more information you could include more info on the two people mentioned at the end, but that is not necessary.

It is a good section to add especially since the Office of Pardon attorney page is so short as it is now. The number one thing to do is to focus on the first few sentences so that you make it clear why the information is significant. Katia Nowa (talk) 18:36, 6 October 2018 (UTC)