User talk:Jrmastor/sandbox

From Prof Mc: Hi, You've done a good job pulling fleshing out information, especially given what a challenging topic it turned out to be. Here are a few minor fine-tunings as your revise:
 * you could link more extensively to other Wikipedia entries
 * cite sources more often, too, such as for "this type of burial" part
 * The paragraph beginning "Oftentimes..." comes across as very general, and might work better if interwoven into subsequent paragraph so that it served to explain the specific instance you describe
 * in the "A thorough study..." sentence maybe add "eventually" before "indicate?" (if I'm misreading your intent, feel free to revise accordingly, just as long as the meaning is made more clear)
 * You can find guidance on how to do the bibliography here, look at the "single entry" section in which several models are show: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:WikiProject_Bibliographies

Please touch base with any questions as you work, but you're off to a good start! AMcClanan (talk) 04:55, 25 November 2017 (UTC)AMcClanan -- Hi! You have a nice post here; I really like your topic! I appreciate how you included links for a lot of the architectural terms, that's really helpful! I noticed with a lot of your information you don't include citations, such as with numbers, like the line on 200 oil lamps, or the lines discussing dates. It might be wise to go back and quote which source you got that information from. I also noticed that you repeated one of your sources four times in your references. I'm not sure if that is a mistake or not, but I figured I'd share something that I figured out while fumbling around trying to make references: if you repeat the source, Wiki will automatically denote it with an a, b, c, d, etc. but all it will look like to you is a [2] until you save the sandbox (I was super confused by this too and had to redo it a few times before it made sense). This way you won't have to rewrite the source three or four times! I also think it could be beneficial for you to put in subheadings for your information, that way everything has this streamlined, organized look. It might only be one or two paragraphs for your information on the catacombs, but that's okay! I think the information you have would be a great addition to the page, good job!

Inkdust (talk) 23:32, 22 November 2017 (UTC)

Hi Josephine!I thoroughly enjoyed reading your research on the catacombs. I really liked that you listed that different types of burial, but I think it would be cool if you could expand on the first two types of burial even though the links are provided. Just to give an idea of what it is for the readers. I think there are some run on sentences within the first paragraph and throughout some sections of your entry that could use a comma or a new sentence to keep them from being a run on sentence. Also some pictures to include with your entry would be great ! That way we have a really clear idea of what you are talking about. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Nhatquyennguyen (talk • contribs) 19:37, 27 November 2017 (UTC)