User talk:Jsalotto/sandbox/articledraft

Peer Review
First and foremost, this may just be me being very critical, but this part "(銃砲刀剣類所持等取締法 juuhoutoukenruishojitoutorishimarihou)" could be formatted better. (Something like how this article has it written Amaterasu if possible.)

Please expand instead of trim! I feel like you have a lot of good points down, but they need to be more in paragraph format so expansion would really help your article. There's not much on the article page as of now, so it would be extremely beneficial for the article if you expand instead. I would also reorganize the way you've written it into the way you would write it into the article.

As for the sources, I can see that the sources that are already on the reference are mostly older so I feel like the extra source you've added really helps out the article. If you'd like, you could also mention dates and different changes made throughout the history of this law. (i.e.: the changes from the ~1950's to ~2010's, I left the years vague because I've only skimmed the articles so I feel like you may have a better feel.)

Hope this his helpful!

Jyanken (talk) 07:41, 9 November 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review 2
This draft looks really good so far. I think that continuing to expand your draft is a good idea. It seems that you are pulling from your 6th reference frequently which is fine, but if you do continue to expand the page then you will need to expand your references. For additional references you may consult the Japanese version of this page.

Kronolyx (talk) 17:16, 9 November 2019 (UTC)