User talk:Jshanahan21/sandbox

Potential Articles
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canary_Conn

From what we have learned in class this article seems to be lacking somewhat important info to her life story, from the medical questioning she had to go through and the lengths she went to gain the sex change surgery as well as how she made enough money to pay for the surgery. All of this seems important to who she was and her struggles.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gayola

This caught my eye because there doesn't seem to be much about new york and Gayola when we have learned about bar culture that has grown to be a less male dominated space with the spaces in new york being more centered around the bath houses while many bar spaces were where lesbian culture sprouted, it would be interesting to see how these payments may intersect with stonewall. This all could be a dead end but there is little to go on for Gayola's on the page.

Gayola
Hello Jshanahan21. Your revisions enhance the "Gayola" Scandal" referenced in this article. Can you add a clear description of the scandal that happened in San Francisco, California? Historian Nan Alamilla Boyd has one in her book. I suggest weaving in the information about the liquor agent in the short description of what happened. Then, you can add your information about newspaper sources. From your draft, it is difficult to discern what sources you are using. Be specific such as the Chronicle and Examiner reported on the scandal. The last sentence on the fairy in the New York section is confusing. I would not include it. Dr. Biro Walters (talk) 19:07, 20 November 2020 (UTC)

James - this is a really interesting topic and something I knew nothing about! It seems really important to the history of abuse the queer community faced during this time and is probably left out to the glorification of police. I have a few suggestions. Some of your language is more essay-like instead of encyclopedia-like. This is something I had a hard time with as well. Things like "instead of the more apt term of bribes," "tended to spin," and "only one was convicted guilty." For example, I would say something like, "Seven police officers were arrested on bribery charges and six were acquitted. One officer was convicted because they were also arrested on shakedown charges." I also think there are some places that need some clarity structure wise, but this could just because you put it together quickly or haven't had the chance to proofread yet. Personally, I thought the last sentence in the NY section was interesting if you edit it for clarity a little bit but obviously I'm not grading this. Overall, great job and I look forward to reading your comments! Samuelcasey (talk) 22:22, 20 November 2020 (UTC)