User talk:Justamre

project:

Let's Ask the Dead Some Questions!

Crypt-Keeper Saki: Welcome to the Gates of the Dead news at 8! Today we were supposed to interview Joseph Stalin, but he is apparantly in court today for charges of pedophilia. Whatever that means. So, we went for the next best thing: Leon Trotsky! Mr. Trotsky, how are you?

Trotsky: Dead, decomposing, and I think I've got a few maggots in my chest.

CKS: Lovely, lovely. So tell me, how did the founding of the Red Army come about?

Trotsky: Well, to find the root of that, we must travel far back to my childhood. As a young lad, I was rebellious. In fact, in 2nd grade I protested a very unpopular teacher, with all my school comrades.

CKS: What happened?

Trotsky: Rubber band firing squad. We sure did show her!

CKS: Aye. So, what next?

Trotsky: Well, in 1896, I was introduced to Marxism. At first, I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, but time passed and gradually I became a Marxist. I say, Karl Marx was brilliant with his philosophies. I was pursuing a math degree, but I changed my mind and went on to find the South Russian Workers' Union, in 1897. Me and 200 other guys got arrested in 1898, shortly after that, the 1st Congress formed the Russian Social Democratic Labor Party.

CKS: Don't you mean the Communist party?

Trotsky; Man, that was a great party. Lenin got really hammered and ended up in a room with Stalin...

CKS: Not that party!

Trotsky: Oh, yes. Uh.. yes, yes, Communist party. I generally considered myself a member of that. While in jail, I married a fellow Marxist.

CKS: Uh... aren't male jails.. all male?...

Trotsky: NONSENSE! Her name was Aleksandra Sokolovskaya. Afterwards, I studied philosophy. In 1900 they exiled me to Ust-Kut. Where--

CKS: What?

Trotsky: Uh... I got exiled into Ust-Kut?

CKS: Oh, I thought you choked as you said the name.

Trotsky: You're an idiot. Anyways, my first two daughters were born in Ust-Kut. In 1902 I snuck out of Ust-Kut with a fake passport, using my main revolutionary pseudonym, Leon Trotsky. I then moved to London, to work on a newspaper who agree that Russia's monarchy should be overthrown. There, I met Lenin. In late 1902 I met my second wife, Natalia Sedova. We had two kids, two boys. After Bloody Sunday, I snuck back into Russia. I began working for underground papers, pushing for a more radical political stance, when in May of '05 (1905) my companions were caught by an undercover cop. I had to flee to Finland to escape getting caught.