User talk:Justynewpeterson/rough/draft

You have a good amount of qualitative information; check out that new introduction though! Some of the syntax could be re-arranged to make the structure more fluid (i.e. "The crystals are formed from either by the filling of vesicles" sounds a little choppy). Also the scientific jargon is not as easy to understand to the average reader- at least hyperlink the scientific words, or better yet try and simplify the sentence so you don't need them! Big.macncheese (talk) 06:37, 25 October 2018 (UTC)

Draft Review
Hi Justynewpeterson,

you have a good introduction paragraph on your draft.

Changes to be made (maybe)

you might want to add the articles body paragraphs and work on those when you can. Also add the examples of where geodes are abundant somewhere in the article again, since you removed it from the intro paragraph

TheFoolishThought (talk) 23:50, 28 October 2018 (UTC)

Draft feedback
Hi, Justyne!

You have quite a bit of original article material to work with here, and it looks like the lead section is where you're focusing so far, which is perfectly fine. My biggest suggestions as you move forward/continue expanding and revising are: --what new material are you finding that this article doesn't already have? Have you been able to find information (maybe even rockhound maps or maps of places like Oregon's Richardson's Ranch) where people can dig geodes? Average size (or smallest-known/largest-known)? Do they appear in any mythologies? (you might not find information for some of these, but maybe a couple will be helpful to think about/search for) --you aren't obligated to change/revise the existing article material, so when you do choose to revise existing material make sure there is a need to do so (correcting inaccurate information, clarifying a sentence by rephrasing part of it, reorganizing by moving some material to a different section of the article where it fits better). I would recommend not doing wholesale revision/rewording of other editors' work unless it's inaccurate/unclear. I'm particularly curious about your changing of the original Greek word "geode" derives from...did you find conflicting information about this?) --sources/references. I don't see any linked in the original article lead, which might be why you opted to work on this part, but I also don't see any in your new draft material yet. --after completing your additions and revisions, it would be good to give a careful proofread of material you've added or changed. There are just a few grammar/punctuation bumps in this draft material.

I look forward to seeing what you add to this! Nicoleccc (talk) 01:29, 29 October 2018 (UTC)