User talk:Juwhit/sandbox

Feedback on potential topics
These both look like good options, but I think the Bosozoku article in particular has a clearer need for improvement. If you could find more reliable sources on the topic, you may also find some content gaps (in addition to various issues already noted). As for the Kpop in Japan section, it could definitely use more detail, but that feels more limited as a project. Ctextor at uofu (talk) 04:58, 11 February 2018 (UTC)

Feedback on Project Proposal
This looks like a good plan, and you've got some solid sources to go on. More is better, of course (perhaps there is more press coverage to be found?) but I think you can make a substantial contribution from what you have. Fleshing out the introductory section of the article would be a particularly valuable contribution.

A couple of other things the article leaves me curious about (potential content gaps, though you're not obligated to fill them): comparisons to Western or other non-Japanese bike culture? Are there particularly famous or important gangs/clubs/subgroups (like the Hells Angels)?

It may also be fun (and would certainly be valuable) for you to add to the "In popular culture" section, perhaps adding other examples you know of (those count as sources!) or even just turning the list into prose that explains a bit more about how Bosozoku culture appears in the media examples listed. Ctextor at uofu (talk) 22:42, 26 February 2018 (UTC)

U0820540's Peer Review
Seems like you chose very interesting subject to talk about. I think you have many good sources for the subject. It would be interesting to write why Bosozoku culture exists in Japan and what is the public view about this problem. So far everything looks really great. Keep up the great work!

U0820540 (talk) 11:55, 6 April 2018 (UTC)

Zdeneris's Peer Review (Zach Deneris)
Your addition of a cohesive lead section really beefs up the article well. The tidbits of history at the beginning really give good context for your readers. I also really like how you give general context of what a Bosozoku looks like and how they act. I think the original article takes a long time getting into the nitty-gritty of what makes someone a member of this subculture. At the end of the lead, put the citation outside of the period. I believe this is standard placement.

The beginning of the 'Stereotypes' section is repetitive from the lead. Consider adjusting word-choice, etc. in either to prevent this repetition. I really liked how you cleaned up this section, removing unneeded content.The addition of a citation helps too. Ideally every fact in this paragraph would be cited, but you're not superman. Maybe adding some "citation needed" tags to the sentence about them emulating fighter pilots might be good. But I'm nitpicking.

Breaking up the section into two paragraphs really adds a lot to organization. It's the simple things sometimes. These statements also need citations, so adding a "citation needed" tag at the end of this paragraph might add value for future contributors.

The first sentence of the "Vehicle" section runs for a long time. This sentence would be better broken into several. I like the specifics about the construction of the bikes with citations. There is a lot of good detail for those who specifically came to this article to learn about their customization techniques. Breaking up the sentences into readable paragraphs really helps readability.

Good job.

Zdeneris (talk) 01:09, 7 April 2018 (UTC)

CT Feedback
I am in agreement with your classmates that this is looking like a substantial and high-quality contribution. If you can find a public-domain image, especially of a person dressed in typical bosozoku style, that would enhance the article (and make it easier to picture what you're saying about the accessories and whatnot). Ctextor at uofu (talk) 15:17, 10 April 2018 (UTC)