User talk:Jvahmed/sandbox

Hello

Hey!

It looks like your page is well on its way to a great page! I really liked the overall format of the page. I think it is logical and is easy to follow. I particularly liked the subheadings beneath each section such as "intial evaluation and testing" and "imaging" under the heading diagnosis. Or the 2 separates parts under management works great. I think it breaks up the page really well. I also liked the way that each section of the page flows. Each paragraph goes into the next really well.

I think you also did a great job linking to other pages within Wikipedia. I think it's a great way to allow readers to explore additional topics without having to directly address them within your page.

For things to consider to work on (I know you're still working on this), I would consider getting rid of the first sentence under the alveolar lung disease heading that describes what alveoli are. I have seen most pages on Wikipedia begin with an opening sentence about what the primary topic is. I think you could switch that around to then describe what alveoli are after that if you wanted too.

You could get into the physiology of how the lungs are damaged during alveoloar lung disease but that may also be beyond the scope of this page.

A few sentences may need to be cited. For example, your paragraph about hearing crackles could use some sort of citation (maybe our physical exam textbook?) to further support your article.

Again, it looks like your page is well on its way to becoming a great addition to Wikipedia! Just let me know if you want me to clarify any of my comments! Looking forward to seeing the final product.

Kvando (talk) 00:12, 12 April 2020 (UTC)