User talk:KAMJ2018/sandbox

Initial thought:

Video game addiction would be diagnosed if the negative effects outweighed the positive, therefore causing distress in one’s life. Diagnoses like this exist to recognize and treat disruptive behaviors and should be described based off of level of disruptiveness and is not to be confused with positive effects of a less extreme level of engagement with the behavior. I wouldn’t subcategorize this under video game addiction, but rather could contribute to the video game page in general, which should have a balanced description of the benefits and costs of playing video games. Video game addiction should be linked in the negative portion of the video game page, and your contributions could be to help balance out the positive effects with the negative on the video game page. Although the page has a lot of content, it could benefit from formatting.

Video Game Page as it is formatted now:

Social aspects section: In need of an overall summary at the beginning of the section and a clear benefit and cost contrast of social aspects
 * Subsections include:
 * Demographics
 * Culture
 * Behavioral effects
 * Objection

Possible benefits section

Lacking
 * Could use subsections
 * You could contribute to mental/physical health benefits

Potential Restructure of Video Game Page:

Instead of splitting up the sections as it is now you could have a negative effects section and a positive effects section and under each include:
 * Lead (summary)
 * Social aspects
 * Health aspects
 * Mental
 * Physical

Sandbox: Lead Section:


 * The first sentence shows your perspective on video games as more beneficial than harmful. Shouldn’t do that.
 * SDT: I don’t understand how this came in, what it is, etc.
 * Needs to be a summary of what you’re going to talk about.

Article content:

Well-being section
 * Heading is vague, mental or physical health?
 * Vague content, you also start talking about the negatives, I thought it was supposed to talk about positives?

Problem solving skills section
 * Heading is more specific, good.
 * How do you know this information?
 * Using phrasing such as “most”, “many” “fully” “some” “frequent”
 * That’s vague and overgeneralizing and showing a stance.
 * Need to have numbers without a bias.

Group Relations
 * Maybe look at the video game social aspects section

Physical activity
 * Good that you’re including the new subcategory of wii fit and VR, which are specifically being made to increase fitness. You could add to the platforms section of video games page, since this is new, it doesn’t have as much about it. Keep a neutral tone though. If there’s benefits/costs to these new platforms, comment on that in the new sections you make about health.

References:
 * Not linked to body content, so I don’t know where you’re getting your information from as I read.
 * These articles are single studies and not overall findings in the field… find more lit reviews/meta-analysis, and general accepted knowledge
 * Not enough for this amount of content. Need more than 2.

11m30m1994 (talk) 15:54, 4 April 2018 (UTC)

Peer Review by Rob Alder
Kyle

Introduction First thing I noticed in the introduction to your section is you reference Self-Determination Theory (SDT). That sounds really important but it’s not referenced at all or expanded upon. Maybe make that its own section and talk about where that is from or at least hyperlink it. The first sentence of the introduction is a little bias and seems like you’re advocating that video game addition can be a good thing. Instead try something like “Research has shown that there are positive cognitive and memory effects to people with video game addiction.” Something like that can clear up the paper.

Organization The Wikipedia article is organized very orderly and clearly. There are appropriate topics covered and split accordingly. You can possibly add the more beneficial effects of video gaming but that’s determined on whatever the research says.

Tone and balance Currently the Wikipedia article is a very colloquial. It’s important to make the article as concise as possible as quality is better than quality. The first sentence of Problem-Solving skills says, “Cognitive skills can be enhanced through repetition of puzzles, memory games, spatial abilities and attention control.” That sentence isn’t very necessary, you have been setting for that section. However, in the physical activities article you have a great 1st sentence that says, “With the introduction of Wii Fit and VR (virtual reality), exergame popularity has been increasing, allowing video game players to experience more active rather than sedentary gameplay.” This is more what you want, and briefly describe and then go right into the research.

References: Obviously in text citations are needed throughout the article but you could benefit to the use of more references as well. It’s difficult because your topic is very specific but try searching “video games” on Web of Science or google scholar (maybe) and see what comes up. I’ve heard studies on how gamers have quicker decision making and memory so the literature is for sure out there.

Existing Article This article is a great addition to the current video game addiction Wikipedia article. It offers new material and research that is not covered anywhere in the current article.

All in all, good start. Try to be very blunt and short with your sentences and try adding a few more articles.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Rob Alder