User talk:KBfade24/Oncorhynchus kawamurae

Hi KBfade24 - My name is Jolie, and I'm the Project Coordinator for the WikiProject Limnology & Oceanography team. Your external reviewer for your article on Oncorhynchus kawamurae doesn't have a Wikipedia account, so I'm posting his review on his behalf. If you have any questions about your review, or would like to clarify anything, please feel free to contact your reviewer at the email he's provided below. Thanks, and all the best as you wrap up your Wikipedia editing assignment!

EXTERNAL REVIEW - My name is Colin Dassow, I’m transitioning from the University of Notre Dame where I just defended my doctoral dissertation last week, to the University of Missouri as a new post-doctoral researcher. My work is focused on the dynamics of recreational fisheries, specifically how both social and ecological components of fisheries feedback on each other in multispecies fisheries.

Overall, a significant improvement of the article with updated references from academic sources. I noted in a couple places where even a little more detail might clear up some semi-vague statements. Updating the information box with pictures of spawning and non-spawning morphotypes using credited reproductions of the pictures in your citation number 8 would also be an improvement, and I note that below. I’ve organized my review by section and distinguished some minor edits from some larger ones.

Lead Section

A significant improvement over the older version, I felt you hit the tone and organization perfectly. One way to improve this paragraph just a little bit more would be to add some language summarizing the “Morphology and Life Cycle” and “Feeding” subsections. You already to a great job summarizing the “History” section, and a more complete Lead Section would briefly cover those other subsections.

History

Well done, one minor edit only:

•	First sentence of the third paragraph in this section has the wrong scientific name spelling for sockeye salmon

Morphology and Life Cycle

The last sentence of the first paragraph of this section seems unnecessary as most fish (and all salmon species to my knowledge) possess those physical features so this information isn’t necessarily unique to this species. This did make wonder if the adipose fin is present in this species. This is unique fin that is present in salmon and trout only but not in most other freshwater fish species. If indeed the adipose fin is naturally absent in O. kawamurae, unlike it’s close relatives, then that would be some pretty interesting information to list (though it appears to be present in the phots from citation 8, Nakabo et al. 2014).

Reproductions of a subset of spawning and non-spawning morphs presented in figures 2 and 3 of Nakabo et al. (citation 8 on your page) seem like they could be useful additions to an info box for this page.

It seems to me like you might be able to combine paragraphs 2 and 3 of this section into one paragraph that covers non-spawning appearance and differences between the sexes at that stage in one or two sentences only. You might then follow this with the dimorphism between sexes at the spawning stage. In general, this is hard info to describe in words and I think inclusion of the photos I mentioned above could really help here.

A commonly reported piece of information on any fish species that I don’t see here is what age they typically sexually mature at. Similarly, are they iteroparous or semelparous? This is another commonly reported piece of info for fish species.

Minor edits:

•	Add a citation to the length and body morphology you describe in this section. This should just be the same citation you correctly use for this information in the lead section.

•	I would think about changing the term “flat body-like morphology” to something like “laterally compressed body shape” since flat body isn’t super clear about whether the fish is dorsal-ventrally compressed (which would be unlike any other salmon and more like a flathead catfish) or laterally compressed (like all other salmon). A less jargon-y term that might be more accessible than laterally compressed is maybe “compressed side-to-side and not top-to-bottom” Or you could eliminate that language altogether.

•	A slightly more professional term than “pointy” might be “pointed” instead.

•	There are some statements that feel a little vague (which given the understudied nature of this species is understandable) and could benefit from some more detail if it’s available. An example is “As these fish grow they tend to experience changes in color and size”, this leaves me wondering what those changes in color and size are. Do they get darker? Lighter? Fish growing implies a change in size on its own and so the mention of size again at the end of the sentence makes me wonder if there is a specific way their size changes that you’re referring to. Another similar example “As they mature, the fish tend to experience growth in their width and size”. Unless I’m missing your meaning here, I think you could safely remove this sentence altogether or provide more detail about what you mean by “as they mature” does this mean sexual maturation? Or just normal aging?

Feeding

Nothing much to add here other than potentially describing what aspects of their morphology support the suspected foraging habits of this species. This might be things like mouth location (dorsal, terminal, ventral) or gill raker length and spacing if those are discussed the citation you use.

I’m happy to clarify any of my suggestions or answer any other questions. Feel free to email me at cjdassow14@gmail.com

JoGDelta (talk) 02:32, 8 April 2021 (UTC)