User talk:KJK14/sandbox

General
You have a good start on linking, but you could stand to add a bunch more. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

Citing is uneven. Make sure to cite all your sections in the final draft. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

You have a lot of really good information and a ton of detail. Sfetherling (talk) 17:07, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Abstract
Does not need a section heading. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

"The demographic profile of someone who has an enlarged heart is unclear" doesn't add anything, and is also relatively untrue, because we know the things that cause this, and those have links to age, obesity, gender and race! Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

Link coronary artery disease and sudden cardiac death. Sfetherling (talk) 16:37, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Diagnosis
This is well-arranged and clear. I like the way you laid out each test and its results. Blood tests could stand to explain what they would be testing for. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

I would put the two main types of cardiomegaly first, before you list all of the tests. I agree with Susan that this section is very well done. I would be interesed to know what the blood tests detect specifically. Sfetherling (talk) 16:54, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Also, you could include what results you would predict from the stress test with someone who has cardiomegaly. Sfetherling (talk) 16:54, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Causes
I'm not sure what's going on with the numbered list at the bottom. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

I don't think you need the list at the bottom. If those are causes maybe just pick two and explain them. Then just say other causes can include....and list the rest.Sfetherling (talk) 17:02, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Treatment
This is a really clear layout of treatment options and what they do. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

Research
I look forward to seeing summaries of this research. Once you have that, these articles should just be in the references with all your other citations. Sweiner02 (talk) 18:14, 24 July 2015 (UTC)

It would be helpful if you summary includes information that ties back to some of the other things you discussed in previous sections. Sfetherling (talk) 17:06, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

Mechanism
Instead of saying "If the heart's fibers have to work harder, then those fibers will grow causing the heart to grow" maybe you could say something like "As the heart works harder the actin and myosin filaments experience less overlap which increases the size of the myocardial fibers". Then discuss that because there is a lack of overlap within the "protein filaments......" and continue with your statement about the sarcomere. Sfetherling (talk) 16:49, 26 July 2015 (UTC)

If you are looking to add more information here you could add in some detail about the power stroke. Also that myosin will bind to multiple actin proteins one at a time as they slide past one another. Sfetherling (talk) 16:49, 26 July 2015 (UTC)