User talk:KKO0123/sandbox

For my peer review I'm just going to paste your article contribution and then add notes to it.

There are any different factors that play into this theory.

In humans specifically, there are situations that involve different variations of a father figure. There are situations [Maybe use a different transition since it was just used in the last sentence] in which, the father is involved, a step-father is involved, and no father is involved [I like how you simply highlight the situations you are going to talk about here so people know what to expect]. Situations in which the father is involved, Ellison has conducted research that has concluded that daughters will go through puberty later compared to those with no father-figure in their life [this sentence is a little confusing- mainly in the beginning because it mentions an idea and then revisits it later in the sentence but the reader might have trouble following along]. Ellison also concluded that those with step-father figures primarily in their life, the daughters typically go through puberty in between the times in which those with no father and with a father would go through puberty [this sentence is also a little confusing in the same way that the last one was. It also might be useful for the reader to determine what is considered to be a later puberty and what is considered to be an earlier puberty. That way this sentence can be a little simpler and not as wordy when trying to describe when girls with step fathers are expected to go through puberty] Those daughters with a higher "quality" [relationship?] and more involvement with their father figure will go through puberty later. The daughters with parents that have a higher "quality" relationship with each other also resulted in the daughters going through puberty later.[maybe instead of putting quality in quotes, talk about a closer bond with the father and being given more resources by him since he is contributing more to her life]

This all differs throughout different cultures [great disclaimer]. There are cultures in Asia that don't find it appropriate to hug and praise their children in certain ways while in America, they are more open to affection while there are still limitations [very interesting fact and a great thing to point out. Maybe find a synonym for the second "while". So how do you measure the "quality" of a relationship when it varies amongst cultures. [this should be a question but also I think you should take this part out because "quality" is too unspecific] There are also genetic factors that contribute to pubertal timing as well as the environment that the child has grown up in and the resources that have contributed to the growth and health of the child [this is good because it points out that pubertal timing isn't all determined by paternal investment]. Nichag16 (talk) 06:00, 30 November 2018 (UTC) Nicole H