User talk:Ka of Catherine de Burgh

Welcome

 * Oh, Mr MBisanz, what a sweet thought, I'm sure we met during my all too brief spell on earth before I was so cruelly murdered, while still so young and in my prime. Ka of Catherine de Burgh (talk) 19:08, 15 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Cate, you're amazing. Most dead folk, have trouble communicating. Oh sure, their are those who say they can talk to the dead (anybody can do that), but usually, the dead don't talk back. GoodDay (talk) 14:42, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Firstly, I am not "Cate", but Lady Catherine to you; secondly, I have no problem being conversant in many languages; Thirdly, if you want to converse with me, then at least learn to speak your own language and know the difference between "their" and "there." Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 16:24, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * You'll always be Cate, to me. GoodDay (talk) 18:06, 7 May 2009 (UTC)

Reply
Hi there—I'm unsure how to address you. Your Ladyship? Perhaps you've seen the page of a wikifriend of mine—a prominent member of the English aristocracy. His Grace's private secretary deals with enquiries User_talk:The_Duke_of_Waltham.

To answer your question, the poll has opened here. They ask for three responses—one per question—plus comments if you wish on that and other options. Tony  (talk)  12:23, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Tomb?
I thought the old bag was gonna be given the underground treatment. She didn't even get cremated (the late Cate, didn't get baked). GoodDay (talk) 14:36, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * If you knew the first thing about those of us born of noble blood, you would know that we are not interred like lesser people, but entombed. This is far more convenient as it allows one to pop in and out. Now please adopt a more respectful tone on this page or there will be consequences. And I very much doubt, that you will be able to pop in and out! Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 16:31, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Noble shmoble, consequences smonsequences. GoodDay (talk) 18:07, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
 * You! Still here I see! If it's the second footman's job you are after you are unsuitable. I only employ them in matching pairs. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:34, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I'm after your entire wealth, actually. GoodDay (talk) 14:57, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Lady Catherine are you by any chance a descendant of Margery de Burgh, whose article I created a while back? Please don't tell me you are related to the singer Chris de Burgh? His song Lady in Red is just so awful. Pray tell him that next time he comes to place flowers on your tomb.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 16:40, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
 * Methinks her Ladyship is more likely to be of that branch of the family that gained some notoriety in the northern seas.  Ϣere Spiel  Chequers  10:54, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Greetings, your Ladyhood. Your use of the King/Queen's English English is admirable, especially considering the state of your being. But I'm curious about the caption written by who knows who under the spectral photo of your too-humble tomb. Since I attempt to utilize American English as best I can, having not had the benefit of a proper English boarding school, I would not have thrown in what I consider to be extraneous commas. Perhaps the way the English nobility uses commas, this is correct usage, though? I would ordinarily have restrained myself from bringing such a trivial subject to the fore, but from your musings, I get the impression that you are a person of quality that enjoys micromanaging commas. I'd curtsy were it not for my knees, Wordreader (talk) 19:56, 9 January 2011 (UTC)
 * There is no need to curtsey at all, a slight inclination of the knee is quite sufficient. I don't believe in punctuation, one has no sooner learnt where to put it than the some ghastly little socialist will come along and change the rules. Cultured, educated and refined people, like myself, just write and then scatter a few commas "Pour encourager les autres." Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 10:07, 17 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Your Ladyship has used the wrong spelling of "believe". (I have corrected it, though.) 112.208.176.203 (talk) 23:47, 7 November 2013 (UTC)

"have an experienced editor adopt you"
Her Ladyship's humble servant begs leave to ask whether she will adopt him.  Tony   (talk)  10:30, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Ah Anthony, what an amusing suggestion, I beleive you are of Australian extraction! A charming race (latterly), you obviously belong to a fine family, who other would embrace such a noble and worthy cause as expanding the British Empire? Therefore you do not need to be adopted, even into a family as superior as my own, though I can well understand with your wish to be so elevated. Since my lamented demise (so cruely and wickedly hastened by a certain Wikipedian) I have abdicated all my worldly charities so must decline your request. Have you considered asking Giano to adopt you, I know of no more shining example of intelligence coupled with outstanding personality, charm and debonaire appearance. What a role model he would be for you. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 11:17, 25 June 2009 (UTC)

British?!

 * The de Burghs were an ancient Norman-Irish family. They were the Earls of Ulster. I am a direct descendant of them. Why have you never invited your dear, distant Irish-American cousin to tea, eh? Not very cousinly of you, Lady de Burgh! Sniff, sniff--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 11:47, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Had you been properly educated and taught your peerage, or even bothered to read my fascinating autobiography ("A life of tears and Pain"you would be aware that I am, in fact a Bonkbuster by birth, and through the ancient lineage of the Scrotums descended from Queen Boudicca herself. I do not care for the Irish, following their wanton destruction of the Scrotum's Irish seat, Ballybuggery Castle, in the 1900s. They had the audacity to accuse the family of being absentee landlords - could they have imagined that anyone, as noble as a Scrotum, could possibly reside in such a dreadful social desert of rain and mist? They burnt the castle to the ground and wrote some very unkind suggestions on the walls regarding my beloved mother's acclaimed famine releif cookbook "101 things to with a Potato."


 * As for my marriage to the late Field Marshall de Burgh, it was not the happiest period of my life, only days after our marriage the Field Marshall shot himself, leaving my Harrod's account unpaid - an act of pure selfishness exhibiting a flaw in his pedigree. I can assure you, we are in no way related! Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 13:38, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Ah, then there is a sweet baby Jesus after all. After seeing your luscious portrait, my fair lady(?), I would not wish to be in the same forest of kinship with you, now this is being said with all due respect for your (well, it's not that ancient) lineage. I am quite certain, my Irish line stretches farther back in the ethereal, grey mists of time than your parvenu Bonkbusters and Scrotums. By the way, Queen Boudicca only had daughters, and none of them married scrotums.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 13:50, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 *  --Joopercoopers (talk) 13:59, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * What sounds like a matter of opinion? The bit about Lady Catherine's luscious portrait?--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 14:01, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Nope, about whether her daughters married Scrota/ums --Joopercoopers (talk) 14:05, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * I rather think not. Scrotum doesn't have quite a noble ring to it.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 15:10, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
 * Then you have obviously never met a proper Scrotum. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 21:00, 14 July 2009 (UTC)
 * Why would I want to?--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 17:37, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
 * My dear, there are some things best left unsaid. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 17:44, 17 July 2009 (UTC)
 * And better left untouched.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 19:16, 25 July 2009 (UTC)

The Houdini syndrome
Holy smokers, I thought you were dead. Perhaps the Harry Houdini stories were true, he had to be buried several times. GoodDay (talk) 19:56, 1 September 2009 (UTC)
 * Lady Catherine is actually one of the undead, GoodDay. In fact, she haunts my living room where I am sitting now and writing this. I can feel her vibes, man. Like totally far-out and space city.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 06:50, 2 September 2009 (UTC)

Buckingham Palace
'Tis best you not revert changes to articles, even if those reverts are correct. Others may mistake you for a sock-puppet. GoodDay (talk) 15:10, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Her Ladyship is most welcome to deal appropriately with blatant vandalism, she may no longer be amongst the living, but her activities as a Poltergeist are authorised. If her ladyship deigns to run a kid gloved finger over one of this institution's many mantelpieces, and wave a dust smudged finger in spectral reproof, it would be above our station to comment. Sockpuppetry is more of a concern when editors are edit warring, Voting, or debating with one another, activities that her ladyship would doubtless consider beneath her.  Ϣere Spiel  Chequers  15:44, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Not everyone is aware of Cate's status. I merely come to inform, not offend. GoodDay (talk) 16:00, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I hate to rain on everyone's regal parade but Lady Catherine's title is bogus. She is merely one of many pretenders.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 16:12, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Boleyn? Now that name rings a bell! I beleive one of my ancestors had to help rid poor King Henry of some strumpet who went by that name. It's only natural that I should be reverting vandals at Buckingham Palace, I would imagine that I am far more familiar with the interior of that edifice than the likes of most of the other editors here - most of them seem to be Red Indians, Indesits and various other assorted North Americans. As for you Ms Boleyn and Good Afternoon if you cannot be respectful then I suggest you go elsewhere. As for voting - the aristocracy to not vote like common people; that is common knowledge. If I did vote it would not be for any of those grining politicians - Tony Blair, Samantha Cameron or poor Mr Obama (who grins like an emaciated Cheshire cat - that Mrs Obama should stop all this hugging people and cook the poor man a decent meal). Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:03, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * I'm sorry a parvenu like yourself has to invent a bogus pedigree. The real de Burghs were IRISH!!!--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 18:37, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Quite! Which is why I divorced the late Field Marshall de Burgh! All those dreadful stories beginning "when I was in the army" were quite dull enough, but coupled with his tearful reminiscences of his exploits in the Mountains of Mourne or some such outlandish place was too much to be endured - another month of that and I too would have ben reaching for the Guinness. Beleive me my dear, life with him was more of a descendency to Hell than an ascendancy. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 20:25, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
 * Forgive my confusion, your Ladyness, but I can't help noticing that in the British?! section above, you relate how your husband, the late Field Marshall de Burgh, shot himself only days after your marriage (a pity how one's honeymoon can sometimes be cut so short once one's eyes are opened), leaving you Harrod's-account poor. Happily, Harrod's survived the catastrophe, but have you mis-remembered your husband's fate? Or was there yet another late Field Marshall de Burgh in your life? One does strive for accuracy on Wikipedia. Cheers, bows, and scrapes, Wordreader (talk) 19:45, 9 January 2011 (UTC)
 * Yet you still retain his name....curious. Perhaps the de makes you feel like the real thing instead of a fake aristocrat. BTW, the de Burghs were in Ireland long before the Reformation and Cromwell. Now, excuse me while I go listen to the Percy French classic Oh Mary this London's a wonderful sight......--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 05:01, 1 May 2010 (UTC)


 * British women do not change their names every five minutes, such behaviour only serves to confuse the postman and causes immense trouble to those friends who like to keep their Christmas card lists up to date. The well-bred do not inconvenience people! As an American citizen, in the land of the free, the great Palin and the emmaciated the Cheshire cat perhaps you don't quite grasp these subtleties. It bever fails to astound me, how many citizens of that great country still seem to regard themselves of another land, one wonders why they ever left! Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:13, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
 * One may ask you why you pose as a British noblewoman when you are neither British nor aristocratic. As for America being the land of the grinning Cheshire cat, isn't Cheshire in England? Anyroad, it was my parents who decided that I was to be born in the land of the flashy, rich movie star and not the sceptered, mist-shrouded islands of my forefathers (and mothers).--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 18:24, 1 May 2010 (UTC)
 * You obviously have never been there. The place you mention is not "mist shrouded", but a very unpleasant and nasty little island where it constantly rains. In my experience it is also full of insubordinate natives, such as Mr Vintagekits, Ms 007 and Mr One-Night-In-Hackney (although, I suspect I have had more one nights in Hackney than he) - dreadful people who have caused immense distress to our esteemed and beloved Arbcom and many other very valuable editors and baronets. Such insubordinates and ingrates also razed to the ground the Anglo-Indian-Gothic towers of my family's beloved Ballybuggery Castle - such a beautiful place, a symbol of all that was finest in the British Empire. We visited it regularly once a decade for the tenant evicting ceremonies. Where each tenant on their departure was personally handed a copy of my begloved mothers famed cookery book, 101 Things to do with a Potato. A book that put Mrs Beaton to shame - Oh happy happy days, will they ever to return? Vote Conservative tomorrow! Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:29, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I happen to think my dear Lady de Bogus, that you have never been north of the English Channel. Now what do you make of that for insubordination?! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 18:32, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
 * I do agree, it is seldom necessary to go north of the channel, or seldom even north of Milan. However, one does sometimes venture - if only to inspect one's estates and add to one's wardrobe. I was recently admiring your own dress sense and style (as uploaded); I do so wish I was clever with a needle. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:42, 5 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Well Donna Caterina, being clever with the needle comes from living in Sicily where the casalinga is even more venerated than pictures of Padre Pio. If you're interested in updating your wardrobe, I know a good sarta, and she doesn't cost much- you'll pay roughly the same price for a new gown as a used motorino, not bad, eh?--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 06:54, 6 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Thank you my dear, that's most helpful. Thankfully, I am still one of darling Christian's favourite customers, I would hate to offend by going elsewhere. In fact, he says my hips were built for the draping of satin. Allthough, I must confess to letting sweet little Pete knock me out some ball dresses for the less grand balls given by those that still have them. However, you must continue making your own clothes, your dressmaking skills are remarkable and suit you so well, I would hate to see you dressed by another. Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:23, 10 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Yes it was ever so kind of you to send your sister to teach me how to sew. I'd be walking around naked if not for her.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 18:29, 10 May 2010 (UTC)

Ahem! While I may live in a "very unpleasant and nasty little island where it constantly rains" I beg to differ as to which island it is. I happen to live in England, which part of England is open to debate though. Acording to a mentally unbalanced racist I live in London, which is certainly news to me. Anyway just popping in to correct that error. Must dash now, genocides against white European Christians don't plan themselves you know?  2 lines of K 303  13:45, 12 May 2010 (UTC)
 * Mr Hackney, I can sure you that I am no racist, indeed my homes are full of foreign domestics the less fortunate from other lands - it costs me a fortune to feed them all, but I am a kind generous person. The Irish people are so dear to me, that lilting lisping accent leaves me quite undone, that I quite overlook the rain and the wanton, uncalled for, illegal and vandalistic destruction of dear little Ballybuggery Castle by a hoard of ungrateful ruffians who should have been slowly hung before being shot. I am delighted to hear you live in England, I am sure you don't live in London, or I would know you - it's sch a village for people like ourselves - isn't it? Much love Lady Catherine de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 17:58, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

Happy Lady Catherine de Burgh (the late)'s day!
Oh Mrs Bishonen, what a happy and most complete surprise to what has been my perfect day. After a whirlwind romance, I have married again. My new husband, Senator Randy F Rollbacker III, is very important in Washington, and I as his consort won't have the time to spend on Wikipedia that I once did, can't stop - Hillary is begging me for advice - poor dear woman has changed her hair style, not a successs - I said to her: one cannot better a nice tight perm and blue rinse. Michelle ought to have one too. I can see I'm going to be in huge demand as a stylist to these poor women. Toodle pip. Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 22:22, 26 September 2010 (UTC)
 * Now that you're a senator's missus does that mean you'll have to drop your title? Ach, ye poor wee thing. Oh by the way, you should offer the services of your trusted seamstress; the ladies of Washington will be everlastingly grateful methinketh.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 05:09, 30 September 2010 (UTC)
 * In my experience dear, men cannot be relied upon to even keep up their reputations let alone anything else. So I shall be retaining my own highly esteemed and august name. You seem to have developed some form of speech impediment "aching the nooing" if it's a position as beater on my grouse moor that you're after, I never employ women in a situation where they may encounter menfolk. Do let me know how your needle point is coming on, I'm sure I have some older clothes that you can practice on. Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:57, 3 October 2010 (UTC)
 * It's being in your august presence which makes me tongue-tied and revert to the speech of me righteous Ulster farming forefathers. Och, to think I am actually chatting to a bogus member of the British aristocracy-it makes me tremble in me wellies, so it does. Beating anything whether it's grouse, bare bottoms or anything unmentionable isn't really my cup of Rosie; however were you to let me instruct your sister on the fine art of needlepoint I'd be glad to apply for the position. You will let me know, my most generous lady and patron of all that is noble and upstanding in this squalid world we live in.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 06:00, 4 October 2010 (UTC)
 * My Dear, this is going to come as a terrible shock, so brace yourself, in spite of all your (I'm sure) illustrious forefathers, you are neither Irish nor Scottish, you are American. Look to the future, I say. Quite why so many or your compatriots have to keep carping on about their ancestry is a mystery to me - We have endured that dreadful Kennedy family (although I quite liked poor Jackie, poor woman) pretending to be Irish and various other of your esteeemd politicians likewise - didn't Mr Reagan have to discover an Irish ancestor too or was that Mr Carter? Is it some form of social climbing or kudos to originate from the Emerald Isle? Personally, I quite like America, Ireland is very pleasant too, but why this need? It's most mysterious indeed. Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:57, 6 October 2010 (UTC)
 * My Lady, where did you ever get the notion that I hide my American identity? In point of fact, I make a point to parade the streets of Italy in full cowboy attire, complete with Stetson, spurs and cow-whip, loudly singing Rawhide. I do this on a regular basis.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 06:25, 7 October 2010 (UTC)

Talk back
Lady Catherine -- thank you for the wonderful message. It is nice to get something like that every once in awhile, especially after having so many issues with people on here. You are of the De Burgh family? Lady Meg (talk) 20:40, 25 October 2010 (UTC)
 * Oh don't mention the de Burghs, dreadful, nasty family - one of my husbands, Field Marshall Sir Humphrey de Burgh, went by that name, I only keep it for the sake of my unfortunate children conceived during those unhappy years of my life. No, by birth I am a Bonquebustiere, the noble house of the Earls of Scrotum, Viscounts Broadmoor and Barons Rampton. In fact, I am the last of the Scrotums - a little of my sad and wretched life, can be read here. I feel we are going to be such close friends. Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 20:54, 25 October 2010 (UTC)

WP:BLP concern
Good evening, your ladyship. I am an occasional Wiki-Gnome and I just noticed a scandalous article regarding yourself on the front page of Wikipedia. You may appeal to the editors on the article's talkpage or contact/haunt the volunteers at WP:OTRS, but I would caution editing the offending article or any article related to ghosts lest you be accused of further impropriety (see WP:COI). I apologize for being the bearer of bad news and hope your BLP concern is resolved. May you have a merry April Fools' Day! Sincerely, Ripberger (talk) 01:44, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
 * I can assure you Mr von Ripberger, I have never fequented anywhere called "Cock Lane" in my life - dead or alive! Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 16:14, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Oh yes you did, my Lady. I saw you there myself. Gotcha!--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 17:23, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
 * I doubt that very much, allthough one does wonder what exactly you were doing in such a location. Tell me my dear, I seem to have lost my spectacles, exactly what is it, that cat of yours (down below) is sucking? Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 20:34, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
 * Regarding your first question, I have a fetish for roosters; as for the second, believe me, you don't want to know the answer to that question!--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 05:59, 8 April 2011 (UTC)

Invitation
Lady Catherine, this is to inform you that Her Majesty, the Queen has extended an invitation to you requesting your attandance at a corgi-washing ceremony which is being held this evening at Buckingham Palace. The dress is casual - an apron being an option; however, it is required that you bring your own bucket and washcloths in order for you to partake in the prestigious occasion. You may bring as many of your former husbands and randy, young footmen as you wish; I daresay, the dogs will doubtless benefit from their expert handling of canines. RSVP. Yours truly, secretary to Her Gracious Majesty, ElizabethR II.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 07:21, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
 * My dear Ms Boleyn, I can asure you that Her Majesty and I have a very good system of communication, and it does not involve you. As it happens, my pekes and Her Majesty's corgis are also extremely close friends (there was the unfortunate incident involving my beloved Crippen and Her Majesty's very ill-disciplined and subsequently late Dash, but we have put that behind us). I am gad to see that you are in good spirits, as am I. Only yesterday, Her Majesty and I were discussing our ensembles for the wedding (Her Majesty was very keen that we should not clash in the photographs) and I was re-assuring her that all sorts of people are today marrying the daughter's of air hostesses and the like; not the Hapsburgs, Hohenzollerns or Chiaramontes of course, but very respecatble and nice people, never the less and I think it very unkind of those who choose to mention the happy couple's social discrepencies at every available opportunity. These days, not to be high born (like myself) is no serious disgrace or handicap and I shall inviting poor little Miss Middleton to tea just as soon as the ring is on her finger. Now, was there something you wanted? Lady Catherine Rollbacker-de Burgh (the Late) (talk) 18:05, 1 April 2011 (UTC)
 * No. Your ladyship's withering disdain for my (obviously) lower social station has left me too humbled to make a suitable response. I suppose this is the wrong time to be requesting your sister's domestic services. You Scrotums are ever so handy with the broom and needle.--Jeanne Boleyn (talk) 18:14, 1 April 2011 (UTC)

Trumpers
My Lady, is it too much to ask that you might keep your fellow diners in the Bullingess club in check? This is really most uncivil, and in the house of lords too! Doubtless the impertinent squirt deserved it, but there are other ways of dealing with such matters - or was the keeper of the Lord Speaker's whoopey cushion detained on more important business that day? --Joopercoopers (talk) 16:13, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * I would have thought it perfectly obvious (even to one of your lowly birth) that Her Ladyship (a very dear and close personal friend of mine) was merely offering a “V” for victory sign - a spontaneous and  subconscious act on hearing mention of the war. Just because the Germans are now running the world does not mean we have to forget our glorious past – or their very nasty habits. Indeed, had my own wartime efforts not been so misunderstood, necessitating my flight to America for the duration), I too would have been a national heroine! Catherine Rollbacker de Burgh (Lady) (talk) 19:53, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * Ah I see - I hadn't noticed Trumper's wrist is actually triple jointed. In other news it seems Angela Merkel was asked how many pies she'd eaten at a summit recently. To which the reply was 'Nein'. --Joopercoopers (talk) 21:17, 15 November 2011 (UTC)
 * You mean Angela can't even spell the number 9? No wonder she can't bring together an aid packet to fix the eurozone. Dr.K. λogosπraxis  21:31, 15 November 2011 (UTC)