User talk:Kabkzb/sandbox

Plan to create a new article called The History of Wet Nursing in America
Plan:

I plan to create a new Wikipedia page on the History of Wet Nursing in America. I believe that this topic will be beneficial to the wikipedia community since there is exists little on wet nursing in America or the history of wet nursing on wikipedia. It is important for people to gain knowledge of how and when wet nursing came to be in America, as well as the business of wet nursing in America and why it became an extinct profession. There are many good sources on the subject which will help make an educational page. I will be including a section on how wet nursing came to be in America, a section on the business of wet-nursing in America, a section on how the different classes were affected by wet nursing, and a section on the reasons for the elimination of wet nursing. I might also include a section on how wet nursing helped to treat many infants who were affected by syphilis.

Bibliography:

Golden, Janet, “A Social History of Wet Nursing in America: From Breast to Bottle,” Cambridge University Press (1996).

Emily E. Stevens, Thelma E. Patrick and Rita Pickler, “A History of Infant Feeding,” Journal of Perinatal Education (Spring 2009): 32-39. (accessed February 10, 2016). Sherwood, Joan, “Infection of the Innocents: Wet Nurses, Infants, and Syphilis in France, 1780-1900,” McGill-Queen’s University Press (2010).

Ed. Paula S. Fass, “Wet Nursing,” Encyclopedia of Children and Childhood: In history and Society (2004): 884-887.

Kabkzb (talk) 19:25, 11 February 2016 (UTC)Kabkzb


 * I like your topic and your sources. But I think you'd be better off improving the existing article Wet Nurse, rather than creating a new article, especially since a couple of your sources aren't focused on America, but France. Check out the existing article - it doesn't have much on the period between the Renaissance and the 20th century. I think you could do everything you want to do in a new article, but do it in the existing article and make it much better. Which is, of course, the point! I recommend copying and pasting the existing text of the "Renaissance to the 20th century" into your sandbox, or an MS doc, and work on revising it. Make sure you use the sources that are mentioned in the article in Fass' encyclopedia. Cliomania (talk) 06:03, 22 February 2016 (UTC)

Comments on First Draft
Kabkzb, I like what you've done here. You do need to insert more references, and I think your peer editor has done you a service by indicating where you need to add more information to be more clear. I suggest you make these changes! You also need to cite your references for the America section. And don't forget a good focused copy-edit. Once you've made the changes in your sandbox, I suggest moving them into the main page. Cliomania (talk) 04:21, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

Kabkzb, interesting topic! I think there's some sentence structure that could be changed. It gets a little bit awkward in places, for example you started a sentence with "and" but I think some restructuring could fix that. There are some spots where you could link other Wikipedia articles together. As previous editors have said, I think there's a lack of citations that should be fixed. Overall, the article is definitely enhanced with your input and the facts presented are interesting. Some grammatical and citation tweaks are needed but give it another read over and I think you'll see those little things! Lordofsharks (talk) 05:29, 31 March 2016 (UTC)