User talk:Kaixinst/sandbox

Peer review
(I just realized that I was not supposed to review your article, but given that I already did it, I'll leave my review here anyways, sorry!)

Hello Kaixinst!

Your idea of adding the table with the processes is a great! I think you could add an explanatory paragraph or rephrase the existing text as an introduction for the table. I agree that the table makes the information a lot clearer. I agree that the current structure of the article doesn't seem ideal for a Wikipedia article. Maybe you could compress into one the sections about history, culture and people. I look forward to see new changes! The work plan that you posted in the blog sounds really good. I also liked that you explained what you are doing in your sandbox, but maybe it could be better if you differentiate your comments from the article text with another format, like italic for example.

See ya! Isolari (talk) 18:01, 24 April 2017 (UTC)

Peer review by Sophie
I think that adding a table with an overview on contaminants and the corresponding technologies would be useful to make the lead section more understandable.

Additionally, the structure you suggest for the page seems clear to me. However, the paragraph about domestic water treatment, does that mean water treatment in the United States? Because that is not clear now.

So far the paragraphs are not well balanced yet, however, that could be because it is still a draft. However, this is hard for me to judge.

The sources and additions you suggest do not reflect any attempt to push the reader into a certain direction. Also, the sources mentioned seem neutral an reliable.

I think that your suggestions could be very helpful in improving the article. However, it would have been easier for my as a peer reviewer if you copied the whole article in your sandbox and indicated in the article the suggested changes. This would provide an easy overview of all the suggested changes. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Sophiepak27 (talk • contribs) 23:52, 24 April 2017 (UTC)

To Sophie!
Thank you for your comments!

I will include these in in the future!

To Isolari
Thank you for your review! It is very helpful. Onhindsight I should have differentiated it to make understanding easier. I will do so thank you — Preceding unsigned comment added by 128.2.149.36 (talk) 18:45, 25 April 2017 (UTC)

Peer Review by Lilli Kashef Hamadani
Based off of your blog post, I think you have a good initial structure about what you want to do. Make sure to use plenty of sources to show the use and success of the NEWater technology from Singapore as well as the Pittsburgh water treatment plan. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Lkashef (talk • contribs) 19:12, 25 April 2017 (UTC)