User talk:Kamccabe/sandbox

I'm working on a revision of a bio of a living person (Herman Saatkamp) that required a rewrite with sources. I've posted first draft in my sandbox and feedback would be most welcomed to help ensure I am complying with Wikipedia guidelines (as I strive to do). Thanks. Kamccabe (talk) 20:32, 22 January 2013 (UTC)


 * I'd say the draft's sources are problematic. Many of them are primary sources such as Saatkamp's own article, his Penn Medicine staff page or various other web pages hosted by universities he's affiliated with. The only third-party coverage he has received is the interview in the Atlantic City Press and the pieces in the Star-Ledger and in the Gloucester County Times. The first of those is an interview, mostly Saatkamp speaking about Saatkamp - not quite as independent a source as we'd like. The latter two barely discuss him at all and just mention him as a de facto college spokesperson: "Saatkamp said this, Saatkamp said that." They don't provide any details about Saatkamp himself and in particular do not credit his leadership with the expansion of Stockton College's presence. It would be much better if we had some truly independent sources that covered Saatkamp in some detail.
 * Furthermore, the draft at times gives a very positive view of Saatkamp's accomplishments that isn't supported by the sources. I mentioned the "leadership expands presence" example above; another example would be the claim that Saatkamp is a "widely published expert" on Santayana - none of the three given sources actually says so. Advances (published by his own university and thus not an independent source on Saatkamp) says he "served as general editor of the Santayana Edition" for 26 years, and the Atlantic City Press interviewer (who is truly independent but isn't cited for that statement) introduced Saatkamp as "an expert on philosopher George Santayana", but nobody discusses the breadth of his publications. Wikipedia content should be based on what the sources say; we should not write a hagiography of our own and then decorate it with sources that may or may not support what we have written. Huon (talk) 01:41, 23 January 2013 (UTC)