User talk:Karoap/sandbox

-Maybe your page should just be titled HFO, or Heavy Fuel Oil, rather than HFO ban, given that there is no page for HFO and you are writing about more than just the ban. Also, I think you should be using "Heavy Fuel Oil" rather than HFO, at least in the headings. Good work, this was an interesting read.

HFO Ban
-Are there any bans for the Pacific/Indian oceans?

HFO Characteristics
-I cant tell if the first section (HFO Ban) is your lead or not. If it is not, then you are repeating information here: "Thus, HFO is also commonly referred to as residual fuel oil."

"The chemical composition of HFO is highly variable, blending streams can include carbon numbers from C20 to greater than C50. HFOs are blended to achieve certain viscosity and flow characteristics for a given use. "

-I think it should be restructured because I didnt understand what blending streams were on the first read through. The second sentence gives more of an idea as to what it is, but I still dont know what it is blended with. You explain it later in the "HFOs and Shipping" section but maybe that explanation should be here

"divided into two broad categories being residual oils or distillates" to "divided into two broad categories: residual oils or distillates" -Now the next sentence also has a colon but i think its unecessary there and more appropriate in the prior sentence. But thats more my opinion than anything...

HFO and Arctic Environmental Concerns
"Trends in carriage for the same year for HFO specifically were reported..." -sentence structure here is confusing. Maybe "In the same year, trends in HFO carriage..."

"2017 calculations of total fuel usage for HFO, by mass, in the Arctic by Det Norske Veritas (DNV GL) of Norway were reported to be over 75% with larger vessels being the main consumers. " - confusing. Are you saying their blends are over 75% residual oil?

"the environmental risks borne of HFO" -borne is the past tense of bear. not sure if it works here.

"HFO is characterized by an increased overall toxicity compared to all other fuels." -by a high overall toxicity

"Its viscosity prevents breakdown into the environment, with decreased temperatures (as in the Arctic) resulting in the formation of tar-lumps and through emulsification it can significantly increase in volume." -change to "Its viscosity prevents breakdown into the environment, a property exacerbated\accentuated by the cold temperatures in the Arctic resulting in the formation of tar-lumps and an increase in volume through emulsification."

"The information is organized according to year, ship name, amount released and the spill location" -I dont think this needs to be stated, its implied when reading the list

Environmental Impacts of HFO Use
-this section is perfect.

IMO and the Polar Code
"IMO, being a specialized arm of the United Nations, " -remove "being"

-Carriage doesnt feel like the right word but its used in the literature so what do i know...

Alpeach (talk) 02:30, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Hi, very interesting article indeed! Here are some very minor comments/suggestions:

-I agree with a similar comment above about the lead section? Is there one or should the two first sections be merged together to build the lead section? Consider putting "Heavy Fuel Oil" in bold to follow the Wikipedia formatting?

-Plural of HFO: keep consistent throughout text whether you decide to use HFOs vs. HFO’s?

-Consider links to other articles for: Black Carbon, catalytic cracking, direct radiative forcing

HFO Ban
Is it "worse case substance" or should it be "worst-case substance" ?

HFO Characteristics
Suggested revision of last sentence: "As a result of the its compositional spectrum, HFO is/are (plural?) defined by processing, physical and final use characteristics."

HFO use and Shipping
Suggested revision of last sentence of first paragraph, to match the structure of the previous "Data available until...": "Data available until 2011 for fuel oil sales to the international marine shipping sector reports total sales of 207.5 million tonnes with HFO accounting for 177.9 million tonnes."

HFO & Arctic Environmental Concerns
The use of "black carbon" appears at the end of the first paragraph, should you put the acronym there instead of later in the section? In the last paragraph of this section, second sentence, spell out 6?: "..with emission factors of BC increasing up to six times given low engine loads..."

IMO and the Polar Code
Should MEPC be written in full the first time it is mentioned in the second paragraph?

LilyDuong (talk) 16:30, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Thank you both and  I will make adjustments as suggested!!!